[ Cisco gnaws at this bottom lip, thinking about that. He had always assumed, because of his own experiences, that Taako's various deaths during the cycles must have had a larger impact than what had happened during that last performance, as terrible as it was. But apparently, he had been wrong. Five years. And Taako had been alone, then, too. Hadn't yet re-met his friends, didn't have his sister or even know she was absent. ]
I'm sorry. Those must've been bad years.
[ An understatement if ever there was one.
And Cisco really considers it: particularly if Taako knew he had a very good chance of coming back at the start of the next loop, maybe dying itself wasn't the real problem. Sure, it probably wasn't pleasant, and maybe a few of the times had been really dreadful. But even so, it's clear that what had happened with Sazed had left a much deeper wound.
Certainly, he knows that in his own memories, turning around and seeing Dr. Wells standing in the elevator, not in his wheelchair, knowing they were both alone and that Dr. Wells would only let Cisco see that if he intended to not leave him as a witness - that moment had been worse, even, than the pain of his heart being shredded to pieces. ]
I'm glad you're cooking again. And... I kinda wish I could kick that guy into a pit of snakes for doing that to you and all those people.
[ Cisco has no doubt that in the event Sazed actually came through the portal somehow, Taako would be more than capable of dealing with him, in a way Cisco himself would not be with Eobard. But then, Sazed had clearly been a coward, using poison, striking at Taako in such an underhanded way. ]
I hope- I hope I get better eventually, too.
[ It seems impossible, from where he is now. Like things will keep on being this bad indefinitely, and he'll always be stuck checking rooms for cameras and doubting and second-guessing people (particularly charming ones, that wanted to befriend him). Even with Eobard gone, it feels like he is managing to control Cisco's life - the screaming nightmare that had made him leave the communal housing, the dream-vibe experiment that had gone wrong. Hell, he still can only barely tolerate anyone putting their hand anywhere near his heart.
But maybe he has been too impatient with himself. Maybe he hasn't had enough time, even though it feels like it's been forever. ]
no subject
I'm sorry. Those must've been bad years.
[ An understatement if ever there was one.
And Cisco really considers it: particularly if Taako knew he had a very good chance of coming back at the start of the next loop, maybe dying itself wasn't the real problem. Sure, it probably wasn't pleasant, and maybe a few of the times had been really dreadful. But even so, it's clear that what had happened with Sazed had left a much deeper wound.
Certainly, he knows that in his own memories, turning around and seeing Dr. Wells standing in the elevator, not in his wheelchair, knowing they were both alone and that Dr. Wells would only let Cisco see that if he intended to not leave him as a witness - that moment had been worse, even, than the pain of his heart being shredded to pieces. ]
I'm glad you're cooking again. And... I kinda wish I could kick that guy into a pit of snakes for doing that to you and all those people.
[ Cisco has no doubt that in the event Sazed actually came through the portal somehow, Taako would be more than capable of dealing with him, in a way Cisco himself would not be with Eobard. But then, Sazed had clearly been a coward, using poison, striking at Taako in such an underhanded way. ]
I hope- I hope I get better eventually, too.
[ It seems impossible, from where he is now. Like things will keep on being this bad indefinitely, and he'll always be stuck checking rooms for cameras and doubting and second-guessing people (particularly charming ones, that wanted to befriend him). Even with Eobard gone, it feels like he is managing to control Cisco's life - the screaming nightmare that had made him leave the communal housing, the dream-vibe experiment that had gone wrong. Hell, he still can only barely tolerate anyone putting their hand anywhere near his heart.
But maybe he has been too impatient with himself. Maybe he hasn't had enough time, even though it feels like it's been forever. ]
Did Magnus really try to defuse a bomb?