Taako (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spellslots) wrote2017-03-04 10:35 pm
spellslots) wrote2017-03-04 10:35 pm
Entry tags:
little hades; application
đź’€ Player Information
Name: Justine
Age: 25
Contact:![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
batsecretary
Characters In-game: None!
đź’€ Character Information
Name: Taako Taaco
Canon: The Adventure Zone (podcast)
Canon Point: End of The Suffering Game, episode 57
Age: He’s an elf, who the fuck knows, but not like crazy old? Maybe 60-70???
Description:
Coming from an audio-only medium, Taako doesn't actually have a canon physical description aside from being an elf, a wizard, and like insanely beautiful. The wizard thing mostly means he wears a sweet hat, the elf thing means he has long ears, and the beautiful thing doesn't apply anymore after he traded it away to save the world. He's not ugly or anything, now, just plain. Fortunately he has magic for that shit, and will be casting Disguise Self to maintain his old look.
According to Taako's creator, he can look like whatever anyone wants him to look like, but for the sake of consistency I've used art by the amazing enchillama, which depicts Taako with dark skin, long pointed ears, and long silvery hair. Taako's voice is kind of weird, you can hear it here, and there's probably a lot of dramatic (yet somehow still graceful) gestures to go along with it, because he's a bit of a drama queen.
Physical changes: A faint angelic glow that could be attributed to the fact he's just real fucking good with highlighter
Powers:
Hahaha shit
The easiest place to start is Elven physiology, since that just means a) seeing in the dark and b) not needing to sleep, which grants him resistence from magically induced sleep (including spells).
Unfortunately, the McElroys ignore D&D rules of spellcasting/magic in order to make a more interesting podcast, since no one wants to listen to an hour of shopping for ingredients, and it’s more fun narratively if Taako can cast whatever is most appropriate for the situation without worrying about prepping or concentrating. They do stick to the spellslots (which is mentioned in character, as well) and rolling dice to determine the effectiveness/damage of a spell, but it’s kind of hard to define Taakos’ powers.
Technically he’s a level 12 wizard, which gives him access to 6th level & below spells. He has 1 level 6 spell slot, 2 level 5 slots, 3 level 4/3/2 slots, and 4 level 1 slots, for a total of 16 spells, after which he needs take a 4hr meditative rest to regain those slots. A lot of those level 1 & 2 slots will be spent daily on Disguise & Alter Self because he’s a vain piece of shit. I’ll be sticking to this limitation for his magic, and am more than happy to incorporate the dice rolling if other players want to do things that way! Otherwise, in terms of controlling/damaging spells, I’ll make sure to hash things out with all involved. Then there’s cantrips, which are essentially low-level but unlimited spells, of which Taako knows five. From canon, they are: Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Light, Ray of Frost & Minor Illusion. As a Transmutation wizard, he also has some mild alchemic abilities that allow him to change wood, stone, silver, iron or copper into each other (e.g. turn stone to wood, iron to silver, etc), and he can use Polymorph on himself once a day, for free (that is, without using a spellslot).
Here’s a list of spells! Including cantrips, and here’s a list of spells Taako has used so far, though it’s missing magic jar, which he cast in episode 56. Also on that page are a list of magical items that Taako owns, a couple of which are part of his clothing and I’m hoping he can keep, though like everything, they’ll malfunction in Hell.
The ones I’d have him keep are: Ring of Frost, Cloak of the Manta Ray, Bracer of Balance (this doesn’t do anything cool it’s just stuck on him), Arcane Trickster’s Glove, and Band of Projected Thought. That last one has the potential for a lot of fuck ups, let’s be real. At some point I’d like to buy back the Umbra Staff, once I have the AC for it!
History:
Alas, poor Yorrick, there’s no convenient wiki write up for Taako’s history or the events of the podcast.
Not much about his past his known except that from the age of 12, Taako was alone, likely due to the war that was fought over 7 grand relics/artifacts that granted unlimited power. This war, horrible and destructive, was forgotten by everyone (he later remembers), so Taako wouldn’t have really known why he was alone, just that he was, and just that he had to fend for himself. This he did by joining up with travelling performers and doing tasks here and there to pay his way, which eventually evolved into cooking (he’d learnt to cook from an aunt). That turned into a TV (travelling variety) magical cooking show, which went really well for several years until it went horribly wrong. The assistant to the show, Sazed, poisoned the food that Taako was cooking in an act of jealousy, and forty people died.
Believing it to be his fault, an accident of transmutation magic, Taako fled. Sazed abandoned him not long after, at the time Taako assumed it was because he couldn’t stand to be around someone who had just killed forty people, though in retrospect it was likely so he didn’t get caught.
Taako spent some time travelling alone, trying to figure out what went wrong while also trying to avoid unwanted attention. It wasn’t a great time.
And then the podcast picks up when one day, while sitting in a bar, Taako overhears a dwarf and a man talking about taking on “the last job they’d ever need”. After besting three other adventurers, the three of them went to meet Gundren Rockseeker, who had requested the help.
Note: I’m gonna refer to Taako, Merle, and Magnus as THB (Tres Horny Boys) as per the unofficial name giving to the trio by the McElroys.
Here there be Gerblins: THB go on an adventure! There’s a giant magic spider and a douchebag wizard that they kill, and then finally they track down Gundren Rockseeker who has some kind of very power gauntlet that basically makes him on fire. They get rescued by an orc, Killian (who works for the Bureau of Balance), and fail to convince Gundren to give up the gauntlet, at which point he destroys the entire town of Phandalin. What a good start to the adventure! Thousands of people are dead!
Moonlighting: THB go to the moon! The fake moon? There’s a moonbase involved is what I’m saying. Here, they learn about the war that happened and why they couldn’t remember it, their memories erased by the voidfish (long story). They were inoculated against its effects, and initiated into the Bureau of Balance, an organisation focused on recovering the 7 magical artifacts and destroying them to stop the world from falling into chaos once again. They learn of the Red Robes, powerful magic users who created the relics because they wanted ultimate power. THB became reclaimers, tasked specifically with getting the artifacts back to the bureau safe and sound.
Murder on the Rockport Limited: THB learn of an artifact that was being transported by a fellow Reclaimer, who was murdered. Merle assumes his identity and they all board a train destined to Rockport, needing to take the journey before the vault on the train, where the item is stored, can be opened. Not a lot of “plot” stuff happens in this arc; the boys solve a murder, kill a shitty wizard, adopt a 10 year old detective, and Taako steals a shitload of valuables. They recover the relic and return to the fake moon, where it’s destroyed.
Petals to the Metal: Wagon races, sick stunts, tragic lovers! Travelling to Goldcliff in search of the Gaia Sash, THB confront a young woman (Sloane) enthralled by the artifact, though she’s doing a lot better like, emotionally, than Gundren was. After being rescued by a halfling, the woman’s “””partner”””, they enter a wagon race determined to beat Sloane to prove to her that the power of the sash isn’t absolute, hoping that will convince her to give it up. It almost works, but instead there’s a heroic sacrifice from the part of both women, and THB recover the sash, a little disheartened by the events that transpired. A Red Robe appears and it’s all kinda hecked up, my dudes.
Crystal Kingdom: Another relic! This one is the Philosopher’s Stone, that can turn any item into another item, and has decided to turn a floating lab into crystal for shits and giggles. THB are sent in, as usual, to recover that lil bitch, and there’s a whole lot of sweet stunts. Taako threatens to tentacle the Grim Reaper’s dick, Merle loses his arm, Magnus eats the Philosopher’s Stone, a bunch of robots get real fucked up. THB find out they’ve died like, a dozen times each but have never entered the astral plane which is weird, huh? That’s weird.
Eleventh Hour: I’m running out of word count! THB get sent to a town locked in a time bubble thanks to the Temporal Chalice, another artifact. Once inside, they discover the town is going through the same hour, over and over, because a giant worm keeps fucking shit up, and they have to figure out a way to stop the loop and kill the worm. Taako gets some creepy prophecies about the end of the world, all the boys get taken under the protection of the goddess of fate, they discover that there are still huge gaps in their memories, and eventually they solve the DM’s worm puzzle. TURNS OUT MAGNUS IS A RED ROBE. Haha is that messed up or what.
The Suffering Game: The worst game show. Taako loses his beauty, and part of his life force, Merle loses his nightvision and an eye, Magnus loses a finger, ten years of his life, and the memory of the man who killed his wife. Two liches get just real horny on all that suffering. During the fight, one of the liches takes over Magnus’ body, casting his soul out. Taako & Merle pull him back into a handy mannequin, and they defeat the liches.
This is where I’m diverging from canon in order to kill Taako.
The last act of one of the liches was an attempt to destroy Magnus’ body, and it succeeded. How Taako remembers it is this: he saw the lich cast the spell and moved forward to stop it, only to fail, taking the hit instead. And without a lot of hit points, Taako died.
Sucks real bad, bro.
Hell Status: Heaven transfer
What Brings Them To Hell:
One big motivating factor for Taako's decision to go to Hell is that he's really, incredibly bored. It’s only been a couple of months, but he’s already pretty fucking over it. Despite acting like he wants nothing more than to be left alone to chill, there's only so many spa days a guy can have before that restlessness starts to kick in, and he figures Hell might be more of an adventure than Heaven.
There's also a part of him that's hoping to find Kravitz, a grim reaper from his own world, and get home that way.
The Pitch:
Have you ever wondered what the world's shittiest angel would look like? The kind of angel that’s like, probably good, because how else would they have ended up in Heaven, but everyone who meets them tends to be left with the impression that really, they’re a fucking dick?
Well I have the answer for you, it's this fucking guy right here, Taako Taaco, flip wizard extraordinaire.
The Adventure Zone isn’t exactly the most serious podcast, and if the character’s name didn’t give it away, originally Justin (Taako’s player) didn’t take the whole process very seriously. What’s been fascinating to see is how that’s changed as the podcast got more serious and backstory was created, developing Taako into a surprisingly complex character, with worries and motivations and like, feelings and shit.
So what’s actually going on with this stupid elf wizard that makes him so fascinating? Let me tell you, because that’s the point of this section!
Taako is one of those characters that’s defined by his circumstances, made the way he is because the world was kind of incredibly shitty and survival had to come first. Twelve is very young for an elf to be alone, but somehow Taako managed to survive long enough grow into adulthood, and the best way to do that is to be incredibly selfish. It’s dangerous to mess around with nonsense like caring about people, worrying about their motivations, trying to help them, when you need to put all your energy into not dying.
(This is probably where the kleptomania comes from, if we’re being honest. Nothing like growing up desperate to make stealing shit seem appealing. Gold offers a safety that Taako didn’t have when he was young.)
Which isn’t to say he’s not responsible for the type of shithead he’s turned into, but it didn’t come from nowhere. It’s what makes it easy for him to be dismissive and mean, to stop people from getting too close because that isn’t how it works, you know? Taako can’t rely on people, so he relies on himself and puts himself first and focuses on things that last, like gold and cool magical shit. Fame is pretty good, too, although even that has soured for him.
The thing about shitty, selfish people is that usually there’s something underneath, buried however deep it needs to be buried for survival, and there’s something kind of fascinating in that, especially if you get a chance to dig it up. He doesn’t want to give a shit about people, or open up, or let anyone see him vulnerable so he covers it with sharp jabs and stupid jokes, pretending to be a lot dumber than he is. I want to sink my teeth into that, and what better way to do it than killing him :)
Setting Fit:
Taako, if asked, would happily tell anyone that he's not a good person, or a nice person, or the kind of person that would end up in Heaven if that sort of belief existed where he comes from. He's selfish, vain, occasionally cruel, and has a slight streak of kleptomania.
But he saved reality, or tried to. He might have complained the whole way, but Taako fought tooth and nail to try to reclaim the Grand Relics that threatened to plunge the world back into war, to try to stop the Red Robes from taking back their power (when he thought they were evil? It's not entirely clear yet what the deal is) and hurting more people. He's one of the very few people who can resist the pull of these intense magical items, even when they offer him unlimited power and everything he's ever wanted.
Taako isn't a good person, but he gave up his beauty and part of his life force to help get himself and his friends through Wonderland, despite struggling deeply with giving up something that defined his existence. He's the most vulnerable of their party, having very few hit points and a low AC, yet he doesn't hesitate to throw himself into a fight to help Merle and Magnus, including literally turning to a dinosaur.
He isn't a good person, but he can be gentle and kind. When Magnus was offered the opportunity to forget the man who killed his wife, Taako told him to take it, to let go of his anger and revenge and find peace instead, accepting (along with Merle) the quest of revenge as his own. And even though he torments Angus McDonald, boy detective, more than is probably necessary, Taako still teaches him how to use magic and is very clearly proud of him as Angus casts a successful mage hand.
When faced with a young woman scared about losing her partner, he takes a moment to comfort her, lying through his teeth to tell her that everything will be fine, not wanting her to worry. When that same woman is about to die, he's clearly upset, trying to talk out a solution to save her.
As his friend's soul is drifting towards the astral plane, towards death, Taako throws his own soul out of his body to bring him back.
So he's good, sometimes, often enough to get him into Heaven, but the ease of the place grates on him, leaves him too much time to dwell on what went wrong, on what's happening to the people he cares about and the world he called home. Two months in and he's ready to move on.
Little Hades seems like the perfect place; Little Eden offers the comforts of Heaven while the fun of Hell is right on the doorstep, ready to offer the distraction and excitement that Taako craves.
Samples:
Sample One:
Text thread with Josh!
Sample Two:
Before Wonderland, Taako loved admiring himself in the mirror, getting ready before adventures or simply playing around with make-up for nothing more important than a trip to Neverwinter. Now, though, looking in the mirror feels like forcing his hand into a fire, but he makes himself do it, some kind of fucked up punishment as if the knowledge of it alone isn’t punishment enough.
He stands in front of the mirror, staring at his undisguised face, finding all the flaws that most people wouldn’t even notice. No one in this plane had seen him before, they’d just see a relatively normal looking elf, his ears the most distinguished thing about him, but to Taako it looks wrong, there’s a stranger staring back at him and the “angelic glow” only seems to draw attention to it. It feels stupid, to care so much about such a meaningless thing when he’s dead, when Magnus and Merle are alone, facing whatever is left of the relics. When Angus is-- god, he can’t think about Angus.
So it’s stupid, to care so much about his beauty, but that’s who he is, vain and self-obsessed and being pretty made him famous, kept him alive, let people underestimate him, made them kinder. Now it’s gone and he can’t get it back and he just has to fucking deal with it.
Or not.
Taako scrubs at his face, then casts Alter Self, not wanting to look at himself anymore.
Something needs to change and he knows it, Heaven - a new concept to him - is super rad and all that, with the fancy spas and seemingly endless martinis, but he can’t keep doing the same thing over and over, not if he doesn’t want to go absolutely bonkers.
Hell is just as a foreign concept to him, death is supposed to mean the astral plane, an eternity as a soul that would be peaceful so long as he didn’t try to escape, maybe Kravitz would’ve spent time with him, which would’ve been…. Nice. The last thing he needs is to spend too much time thinking about that. Hell, whatever it is, sounds like exactly the distraction he needs. It sounds like something Magnus would do, rushing in to help people, even if they apparently deserved their fates.
That last thought is what spurs him to packing a bag.
Name: Justine
Age: 25
Contact:
Characters In-game: None!
đź’€ Character Information
Name: Taako Taaco
Canon: The Adventure Zone (podcast)
Canon Point: End of The Suffering Game, episode 57
Age: He’s an elf, who the fuck knows, but not like crazy old? Maybe 60-70???
Description:
Coming from an audio-only medium, Taako doesn't actually have a canon physical description aside from being an elf, a wizard, and like insanely beautiful. The wizard thing mostly means he wears a sweet hat, the elf thing means he has long ears, and the beautiful thing doesn't apply anymore after he traded it away to save the world. He's not ugly or anything, now, just plain. Fortunately he has magic for that shit, and will be casting Disguise Self to maintain his old look.
According to Taako's creator, he can look like whatever anyone wants him to look like, but for the sake of consistency I've used art by the amazing enchillama, which depicts Taako with dark skin, long pointed ears, and long silvery hair. Taako's voice is kind of weird, you can hear it here, and there's probably a lot of dramatic (yet somehow still graceful) gestures to go along with it, because he's a bit of a drama queen.
Physical changes: A faint angelic glow that could be attributed to the fact he's just real fucking good with highlighter
Powers:
Hahaha shit
The easiest place to start is Elven physiology, since that just means a) seeing in the dark and b) not needing to sleep, which grants him resistence from magically induced sleep (including spells).
Unfortunately, the McElroys ignore D&D rules of spellcasting/magic in order to make a more interesting podcast, since no one wants to listen to an hour of shopping for ingredients, and it’s more fun narratively if Taako can cast whatever is most appropriate for the situation without worrying about prepping or concentrating. They do stick to the spellslots (which is mentioned in character, as well) and rolling dice to determine the effectiveness/damage of a spell, but it’s kind of hard to define Taakos’ powers.
Technically he’s a level 12 wizard, which gives him access to 6th level & below spells. He has 1 level 6 spell slot, 2 level 5 slots, 3 level 4/3/2 slots, and 4 level 1 slots, for a total of 16 spells, after which he needs take a 4hr meditative rest to regain those slots. A lot of those level 1 & 2 slots will be spent daily on Disguise & Alter Self because he’s a vain piece of shit. I’ll be sticking to this limitation for his magic, and am more than happy to incorporate the dice rolling if other players want to do things that way! Otherwise, in terms of controlling/damaging spells, I’ll make sure to hash things out with all involved. Then there’s cantrips, which are essentially low-level but unlimited spells, of which Taako knows five. From canon, they are: Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Light, Ray of Frost & Minor Illusion. As a Transmutation wizard, he also has some mild alchemic abilities that allow him to change wood, stone, silver, iron or copper into each other (e.g. turn stone to wood, iron to silver, etc), and he can use Polymorph on himself once a day, for free (that is, without using a spellslot).
Here’s a list of spells! Including cantrips, and here’s a list of spells Taako has used so far, though it’s missing magic jar, which he cast in episode 56. Also on that page are a list of magical items that Taako owns, a couple of which are part of his clothing and I’m hoping he can keep, though like everything, they’ll malfunction in Hell.
The ones I’d have him keep are: Ring of Frost, Cloak of the Manta Ray, Bracer of Balance (this doesn’t do anything cool it’s just stuck on him), Arcane Trickster’s Glove, and Band of Projected Thought. That last one has the potential for a lot of fuck ups, let’s be real. At some point I’d like to buy back the Umbra Staff, once I have the AC for it!
History:
Alas, poor Yorrick, there’s no convenient wiki write up for Taako’s history or the events of the podcast.
Not much about his past his known except that from the age of 12, Taako was alone, likely due to the war that was fought over 7 grand relics/artifacts that granted unlimited power. This war, horrible and destructive, was forgotten by everyone (he later remembers), so Taako wouldn’t have really known why he was alone, just that he was, and just that he had to fend for himself. This he did by joining up with travelling performers and doing tasks here and there to pay his way, which eventually evolved into cooking (he’d learnt to cook from an aunt). That turned into a TV (travelling variety) magical cooking show, which went really well for several years until it went horribly wrong. The assistant to the show, Sazed, poisoned the food that Taako was cooking in an act of jealousy, and forty people died.
Believing it to be his fault, an accident of transmutation magic, Taako fled. Sazed abandoned him not long after, at the time Taako assumed it was because he couldn’t stand to be around someone who had just killed forty people, though in retrospect it was likely so he didn’t get caught.
Taako spent some time travelling alone, trying to figure out what went wrong while also trying to avoid unwanted attention. It wasn’t a great time.
And then the podcast picks up when one day, while sitting in a bar, Taako overhears a dwarf and a man talking about taking on “the last job they’d ever need”. After besting three other adventurers, the three of them went to meet Gundren Rockseeker, who had requested the help.
Note: I’m gonna refer to Taako, Merle, and Magnus as THB (Tres Horny Boys) as per the unofficial name giving to the trio by the McElroys.
Here there be Gerblins: THB go on an adventure! There’s a giant magic spider and a douchebag wizard that they kill, and then finally they track down Gundren Rockseeker who has some kind of very power gauntlet that basically makes him on fire. They get rescued by an orc, Killian (who works for the Bureau of Balance), and fail to convince Gundren to give up the gauntlet, at which point he destroys the entire town of Phandalin. What a good start to the adventure! Thousands of people are dead!
Moonlighting: THB go to the moon! The fake moon? There’s a moonbase involved is what I’m saying. Here, they learn about the war that happened and why they couldn’t remember it, their memories erased by the voidfish (long story). They were inoculated against its effects, and initiated into the Bureau of Balance, an organisation focused on recovering the 7 magical artifacts and destroying them to stop the world from falling into chaos once again. They learn of the Red Robes, powerful magic users who created the relics because they wanted ultimate power. THB became reclaimers, tasked specifically with getting the artifacts back to the bureau safe and sound.
Murder on the Rockport Limited: THB learn of an artifact that was being transported by a fellow Reclaimer, who was murdered. Merle assumes his identity and they all board a train destined to Rockport, needing to take the journey before the vault on the train, where the item is stored, can be opened. Not a lot of “plot” stuff happens in this arc; the boys solve a murder, kill a shitty wizard, adopt a 10 year old detective, and Taako steals a shitload of valuables. They recover the relic and return to the fake moon, where it’s destroyed.
Petals to the Metal: Wagon races, sick stunts, tragic lovers! Travelling to Goldcliff in search of the Gaia Sash, THB confront a young woman (Sloane) enthralled by the artifact, though she’s doing a lot better like, emotionally, than Gundren was. After being rescued by a halfling, the woman’s “””partner”””, they enter a wagon race determined to beat Sloane to prove to her that the power of the sash isn’t absolute, hoping that will convince her to give it up. It almost works, but instead there’s a heroic sacrifice from the part of both women, and THB recover the sash, a little disheartened by the events that transpired. A Red Robe appears and it’s all kinda hecked up, my dudes.
Crystal Kingdom: Another relic! This one is the Philosopher’s Stone, that can turn any item into another item, and has decided to turn a floating lab into crystal for shits and giggles. THB are sent in, as usual, to recover that lil bitch, and there’s a whole lot of sweet stunts. Taako threatens to tentacle the Grim Reaper’s dick, Merle loses his arm, Magnus eats the Philosopher’s Stone, a bunch of robots get real fucked up. THB find out they’ve died like, a dozen times each but have never entered the astral plane which is weird, huh? That’s weird.
Eleventh Hour: I’m running out of word count! THB get sent to a town locked in a time bubble thanks to the Temporal Chalice, another artifact. Once inside, they discover the town is going through the same hour, over and over, because a giant worm keeps fucking shit up, and they have to figure out a way to stop the loop and kill the worm. Taako gets some creepy prophecies about the end of the world, all the boys get taken under the protection of the goddess of fate, they discover that there are still huge gaps in their memories, and eventually they solve the DM’s worm puzzle. TURNS OUT MAGNUS IS A RED ROBE. Haha is that messed up or what.
The Suffering Game: The worst game show. Taako loses his beauty, and part of his life force, Merle loses his nightvision and an eye, Magnus loses a finger, ten years of his life, and the memory of the man who killed his wife. Two liches get just real horny on all that suffering. During the fight, one of the liches takes over Magnus’ body, casting his soul out. Taako & Merle pull him back into a handy mannequin, and they defeat the liches.
This is where I’m diverging from canon in order to kill Taako.
The last act of one of the liches was an attempt to destroy Magnus’ body, and it succeeded. How Taako remembers it is this: he saw the lich cast the spell and moved forward to stop it, only to fail, taking the hit instead. And without a lot of hit points, Taako died.
Sucks real bad, bro.
Hell Status: Heaven transfer
What Brings Them To Hell:
One big motivating factor for Taako's decision to go to Hell is that he's really, incredibly bored. It’s only been a couple of months, but he’s already pretty fucking over it. Despite acting like he wants nothing more than to be left alone to chill, there's only so many spa days a guy can have before that restlessness starts to kick in, and he figures Hell might be more of an adventure than Heaven.
There's also a part of him that's hoping to find Kravitz, a grim reaper from his own world, and get home that way.
The Pitch:
Have you ever wondered what the world's shittiest angel would look like? The kind of angel that’s like, probably good, because how else would they have ended up in Heaven, but everyone who meets them tends to be left with the impression that really, they’re a fucking dick?
Well I have the answer for you, it's this fucking guy right here, Taako Taaco, flip wizard extraordinaire.
The Adventure Zone isn’t exactly the most serious podcast, and if the character’s name didn’t give it away, originally Justin (Taako’s player) didn’t take the whole process very seriously. What’s been fascinating to see is how that’s changed as the podcast got more serious and backstory was created, developing Taako into a surprisingly complex character, with worries and motivations and like, feelings and shit.
So what’s actually going on with this stupid elf wizard that makes him so fascinating? Let me tell you, because that’s the point of this section!
Taako is one of those characters that’s defined by his circumstances, made the way he is because the world was kind of incredibly shitty and survival had to come first. Twelve is very young for an elf to be alone, but somehow Taako managed to survive long enough grow into adulthood, and the best way to do that is to be incredibly selfish. It’s dangerous to mess around with nonsense like caring about people, worrying about their motivations, trying to help them, when you need to put all your energy into not dying.
(This is probably where the kleptomania comes from, if we’re being honest. Nothing like growing up desperate to make stealing shit seem appealing. Gold offers a safety that Taako didn’t have when he was young.)
Which isn’t to say he’s not responsible for the type of shithead he’s turned into, but it didn’t come from nowhere. It’s what makes it easy for him to be dismissive and mean, to stop people from getting too close because that isn’t how it works, you know? Taako can’t rely on people, so he relies on himself and puts himself first and focuses on things that last, like gold and cool magical shit. Fame is pretty good, too, although even that has soured for him.
The thing about shitty, selfish people is that usually there’s something underneath, buried however deep it needs to be buried for survival, and there’s something kind of fascinating in that, especially if you get a chance to dig it up. He doesn’t want to give a shit about people, or open up, or let anyone see him vulnerable so he covers it with sharp jabs and stupid jokes, pretending to be a lot dumber than he is. I want to sink my teeth into that, and what better way to do it than killing him :)
Setting Fit:
Taako, if asked, would happily tell anyone that he's not a good person, or a nice person, or the kind of person that would end up in Heaven if that sort of belief existed where he comes from. He's selfish, vain, occasionally cruel, and has a slight streak of kleptomania.
But he saved reality, or tried to. He might have complained the whole way, but Taako fought tooth and nail to try to reclaim the Grand Relics that threatened to plunge the world back into war, to try to stop the Red Robes from taking back their power (when he thought they were evil? It's not entirely clear yet what the deal is) and hurting more people. He's one of the very few people who can resist the pull of these intense magical items, even when they offer him unlimited power and everything he's ever wanted.
Taako isn't a good person, but he gave up his beauty and part of his life force to help get himself and his friends through Wonderland, despite struggling deeply with giving up something that defined his existence. He's the most vulnerable of their party, having very few hit points and a low AC, yet he doesn't hesitate to throw himself into a fight to help Merle and Magnus, including literally turning to a dinosaur.
He isn't a good person, but he can be gentle and kind. When Magnus was offered the opportunity to forget the man who killed his wife, Taako told him to take it, to let go of his anger and revenge and find peace instead, accepting (along with Merle) the quest of revenge as his own. And even though he torments Angus McDonald, boy detective, more than is probably necessary, Taako still teaches him how to use magic and is very clearly proud of him as Angus casts a successful mage hand.
When faced with a young woman scared about losing her partner, he takes a moment to comfort her, lying through his teeth to tell her that everything will be fine, not wanting her to worry. When that same woman is about to die, he's clearly upset, trying to talk out a solution to save her.
As his friend's soul is drifting towards the astral plane, towards death, Taako throws his own soul out of his body to bring him back.
So he's good, sometimes, often enough to get him into Heaven, but the ease of the place grates on him, leaves him too much time to dwell on what went wrong, on what's happening to the people he cares about and the world he called home. Two months in and he's ready to move on.
Little Hades seems like the perfect place; Little Eden offers the comforts of Heaven while the fun of Hell is right on the doorstep, ready to offer the distraction and excitement that Taako craves.
Samples:
Sample One:
Text thread with Josh!
Sample Two:
Before Wonderland, Taako loved admiring himself in the mirror, getting ready before adventures or simply playing around with make-up for nothing more important than a trip to Neverwinter. Now, though, looking in the mirror feels like forcing his hand into a fire, but he makes himself do it, some kind of fucked up punishment as if the knowledge of it alone isn’t punishment enough.
He stands in front of the mirror, staring at his undisguised face, finding all the flaws that most people wouldn’t even notice. No one in this plane had seen him before, they’d just see a relatively normal looking elf, his ears the most distinguished thing about him, but to Taako it looks wrong, there’s a stranger staring back at him and the “angelic glow” only seems to draw attention to it. It feels stupid, to care so much about such a meaningless thing when he’s dead, when Magnus and Merle are alone, facing whatever is left of the relics. When Angus is-- god, he can’t think about Angus.
So it’s stupid, to care so much about his beauty, but that’s who he is, vain and self-obsessed and being pretty made him famous, kept him alive, let people underestimate him, made them kinder. Now it’s gone and he can’t get it back and he just has to fucking deal with it.
Or not.
Taako scrubs at his face, then casts Alter Self, not wanting to look at himself anymore.
Something needs to change and he knows it, Heaven - a new concept to him - is super rad and all that, with the fancy spas and seemingly endless martinis, but he can’t keep doing the same thing over and over, not if he doesn’t want to go absolutely bonkers.
Hell is just as a foreign concept to him, death is supposed to mean the astral plane, an eternity as a soul that would be peaceful so long as he didn’t try to escape, maybe Kravitz would’ve spent time with him, which would’ve been…. Nice. The last thing he needs is to spend too much time thinking about that. Hell, whatever it is, sounds like exactly the distraction he needs. It sounds like something Magnus would do, rushing in to help people, even if they apparently deserved their fates.
That last thought is what spurs him to packing a bag.