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[spellslots]

  ✉

CODE   🔋 12:01 AM

TAAKO

USERNAME
@fromTV

OCCUPTION
Pâtissier

MESSAGE
"You've got Taako. I'm too busy to take your call right now, leave a message."

TEXT

CALL

VIDEO

	Friendr
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	» Age: old enough to know better » Seeking: 💲💲💲 » Preferences: none of your business » Interests: cash money » Bio: greatest chef in Faerûn, greatest transmutation wizard, follow me on insta @fromTV for the real shit
	base code by photosynthesis
	Taako
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Comments

[franciscoramon]

wow, say that five times fast.
okay, let's do it.
now, here's my question: scotch, vodka, gin, tequila, what's your poison?

...do you mean that... metaphorically?

not arguing with you on that one.
plus anything you make him is never gonna scratch up his furniture or leave hair on all his clothes, so, there you go.

[spellslots]

I've been saying it since I was like, fifteen, I could do it. Vodka is never turned down in the Taaco household.

Nah I work for Istus, goddess of Fate, it was this whole thing.

I'm gonna summon some kinda hellspawn to run around his house out of fucking spite now.

[No he's not.]

[franciscoramon]

vodka it is.

okay for real how many careers have you HAD at this point
and also, how?
and also, WHAT?

please don't, i've been crashing up in the attic room for a little bit now and one of my favorite things bout the place is it's hellspawn-free

[spellslots]

The Istus deal is more of a side gig, like we just keep doing what we do cause most of the time we're fixing shit and that's her domain, you know? Making sure nature takes its course or whatever.

That Yuri kid is for sure some kinda demon, just saying.

[franciscoramon]

ok the fact that you had a side hustle isn't what's tripping me up
it's that your side hustle involved working for a goddess. like.... a real one?
that's not just a title or something in the organization you worked for, for like, a normal mortal person?

he's a teenager.

[ Which is to say, Cisco agrees. ]

[spellslots]

Gods are real back home, that's kinda how clerics work. Meeting them usually isn't like, super common but it's us, ya know?

[They're special cases.]

I was not that bad as a teenager.

[franciscoramon]

that's wicked cool and a little bit terrifying.

[ It's... going to take Cisco a while to wrap his brain around that one. Multiverse, sure. Magic, he'd been skeptical, until he'd seen it with his own eyes. But gods and all of that? That's kind of a whole other ball game. ]

okay true
but eddie seems to really like him, and historically speaking he's a pretty good judge of character
so i doubt he's actually evil or anything like that

[spellslots]

That about cover Istus.

[She rolled high on her intimidation check.]

I mean, he's fucking me, let's not give him too much credit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[franciscoramon]

so how exactly did you get on that payroll?

[ There's just GOT to be a story, there. ]

i said what i said.

[ Which may be one of the more belligerent compliments Cisco has ever given. ]

[spellslots]

I told you about that groundhog day bullshit right? She had a temple in that place and she showed up to help us out, asked us to be on the payroll, gave us some neat shit. You know, the regular.

I get where you're coming from but let's be real with ourselves. I'm fucking awesome but I'm hardly boyfriend material.

[franciscoramon]

your idea of regular and mine are pretty different, dude.

[ As for that second bit, Cisco hadn't really been planning on going there but this has really gotten ridiculous, and he has to say something: ]

okay first off, that's between you and him.
second, why are you always working so hard to try and convince me you're a bad person?

[spellslots]

Hey, your time travel bullshit is way weirder than mine.

[also rude?? don't call him out like this.]

I'm just joking, pumpkin. You shouldn't take like half the shit I say seriously.

[franciscoramon]

i feel like deities > time travel but maybe just cuz i'm used to it

[ Well, a little used to it, anyway. ]

mhm, sure.

[ Which is of course code for: I don't believe you but I'm not going to push it anymore, for now. ]

[spellslots]

Deities are just real fucking powerful magic users, they're not THAT special

[Istus, in the background: get fucked taako]

Don't think I don't hear that doubt. As if you've got room to talk.

[take that.]

[franciscoramon]

okay, that makes it less weird for sure.

you're right.
sure takes one to know one, doesn't it?

[ It's not exactly the same thing, but it's apparently similar enough that Cisco can see through at least some of Taako's bullshit. Probably just some classic move like anticipating criticism so he just says it first to get it over with, or some variation on that. But Cisco really didn't set out to call Taako out extensively, and if he was going to he's not going to do it via text. ]

[spellslots]

This time I can't tell the tone are you being sarcastic?

[He's only had a handful of months to get used to texting as a medium, sometimes things still go over his head.]

Ugh, why are you like this. I'm gonna kick your ass.

[All honest and shit. It's awful. Let him live.]

[franciscoramon]

nope, not sarcastic.
you just actually cleared it up for me.
i think the parameters of what gets called a deity must be different between worlds
i get it now. 👍🏽

[ And the rest of Taako's response pretty much confirms to Cisco that his guess was not wrong. But he does have SOME pity. ]

alright alright i'll let you be
no ass-kicking necessary, promise.

[spellslots]

Eh, it's a matter of opinion I guess. I don't really give a shit about gods, but if you asked Merle he'd go on about Pan being great and whatever.

Smart move, I'm not above burning spell slots on friends.

[franciscoramon]

wait, pan like... the dude with the goat legs?

[ What a ludicrously random detail for their worlds to overlap on, when they have little in common. ]

[spellslots]

The nature god? That's who Merle worships.

[franciscoramon]

something like that, i think.
i'm not really sure
nobody actually worships him anymore it's like an ancient history thing
like that's the entire extent of my knowledge
i never paid a whole lot of attention during mythology stuff in school

[spellslots]

Well, huh, that's kinda weird? Cool? I mean, if you guys have got all the right planes you should have a celestial one as well.

[franciscoramon]

i know what all those words mean individually but i think you're gonna have to explain this one.

[spellslots]

[STARWIPE: Taako explains the planar system]

[franciscoramon]

[ Okay now this really is just too much, because on the one hand some of it sounds so familiar, so similar to several scientific theories, but other parts are just so arcane and mystical and bizarre. ]

and how much booze would it take to get you to pop into my lab sometime and let me take a few readings while you do that thing where you go in the ethereal plane or whatever?