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Can I ask you something? Don't feel like you gotta answer if it's a boring story or none of my business, but you and Magnus and Merle all met and were hanging out way before you got your memories back, right? How did you even find each other again?

[ That seems to Cisco to be, likely enough, an interesting and hopefully not super personal or private period of Taako's life that he doesn't know about yet. To him, it seems kind of great, that Taako and Magnus at least keep meeting, keep becoming friends despite not always remembering one another.

He parts Taako's hair down the middle, begins pulling together a dutch braid from the nape of his neck, moving up and over his ear, carefully incorporating in more and hair to the three strands as he goes. It's good, to have tactile to focus on, something semi-complicated to do with his hands. ]

Spores. Why's it always gotta be spores?

[ Cisco's certainly not a botanist, either. But the fact that he is willing to joke a little about the amnesia - or at least the thing that caused it - is progress. ]

Maybe I'll just start going around in a gas mask all the time. Make it the new fashion trend. That wouldn't be creepy, right?

[So, I found you.

Taako doesn't address the gas mask or the spores or anything, because the question drags him back to the moment of that explanation, and the scenes that followed.

You fucking took everything from me.]

Lucretia.

[It's an easy answer, but one said quietly. There's no funny or exciting story here, no bond that drew them back together; they reunited because Lucretia wanted them to, because even after she ruined his life, she still wanted to control it. Maybe he should be more generous; it's not like he was in a good place before she found him, and reclaiming the relics led to him remembering Lup but...

It's hard not to be bitter, sometimes, especially when all he can think about is her explanation that came only seconds before he leveled the umbra staff at her, ready to do... gods knows what. He's not sure what he was ready to do.]

[ Cisco's not an expert at reading people, but it's not hard to put two and two together when he asks that question and Taako gets real tense real fast. He thinks about interrupting even before Taako answers, saying nevermind or changing the subject, but even that would be admitting that he could tell the question bothered Taako, and would probably make things even more awkward.

The one-word answer explains a lot. Cisco knows that Lucretia and Taako are friendly enough to be living together, but they've also known each other for 100 years. That makes them more like family than just friends, and Cisco knows just how messy and ambivalent stuff can get when it comes to family. And if it turns out that, in addition to erasing so much of Taako's memories, she was also pulling the strings while he didn't remember... well, how could that not be complicated. ]

Gotcha.

[ Which is his deliberately casual way to say that he understands, that Taako doesn't have to say any more if he doesn't want to. Cisco keeps on braiding, reaches the point where there is no more hair to incorporate and he just braids out the rest quickly, secures the end with a small elastic. Then he is switching to the other side, the other half of Taako's hair, and starting a new Dutch braid, this one going downwards from his forehead.

He should probably change the subject entirely. But Cisco instead says: ]

I haven't got any clue how much stuff in my life for the last few years happened by accident and how much was Dr. Wells pulling the strings. I'm pretty sure he made it so I got the apartment I did, because it would be easier to bug so he could spy on me. And I think he might've... I think maybe he arranged things so nobody else would offer me a very good job, because he wanted me working for him, and feeling like I was lucky for the opportunity.

[ The transition, from one topic to another, leaves no question that Cisco didn't just randomly dive into talking about the power that Eobard exerted over his life; he is making an explicit comparison, to Lucretia, setting up Taako and Merle and Magnus to meet again. Comparing her to Eobard. ]

[Cisco starts describing the things Eobard did and Taako feels sick as he realizes the comparison being drawn, something unpleasant and painful churning in his chest.]

Don't.

[Lucretia hurt him, a lot, but he can't stand the comparison because it's too much like suggestion that she hurt him on purpose; it's easier to accept being collateral damage, to accept that she let him be hurt as a necessity, but not because she was cruel or selfish, like Eobard. Because if he can't believe that she did what she did out of love, he doesn't think he'll ever forgive her.]

Have you ever - uh, you know when you do something and like halfway through it gets fucked up but you don't wanna quit cause then you've wasted all your time, so you keep trying even if you don't think it's gonna work out?

[It's like that.]

[ Cisco's hands pause momentarily in their progress. From this angle he can't see Taako's face, but he can tell it's not a request. The sheer abruptness of it, the lack of verbal flourish... for Taako, it's telling. Cisco goes back to braiding, quiet for a moment before he says: ]

Sorry.

[ He doesn't argue the point; he doesn't want to hurt Taako any more than he already has with the mere suggestion of a similarity. Taako knows Lucretia much better than he does; Cisco had thought she was very nice, when they had spoken. (But then, Cisco thinks, he had loved and been devoted to Eobard, so he doesn't exactly have a whole lot of faith in his intuition when it comes to people).

He makes wordless sound of agreement, confirming he has experienced at the sort of mindset that Taako is describing. At first, he thinks that it doesn't excuse what she'd done to Taako; a moment later, though, all the anger goes out of him. What is he even doing, comparing Lucretia to him? Eobard had stalked people, murdered people in cold blood, had traveled back in time just to try kill a child - all for selfish reasons. Lucretia, from what he's heard, had done what she'd done to try to save the universe and help her friends. Big difference. ]

I shouldn't have said that.

[ There's real contrition in his voice, and his hands work a bit faster on the braid, finishing it out and securing the end with another elastic. He starts pulling gently at the braids, widening them, making them look bigger and just a touch messy. Then, he pulls a few of the bobby pins from his pocket and starts to work on pinning those braids into a neat crown circling Taako's head.

This cynicism, this awful tendency to extrapolate pure evil from the smallest coincidental similarity to Eobard, is something he'd been free of for a week. Now, it's back with a vengeance, making him speak ill of a woman he barely knows. Cisco sighs, gnaws at his bottom lip. He has the braid on the left positioned and pinned before he says: ]

I do that too much. Compare people to him. Just... usually not out loud. But internally. Like, as a defense mechanism, maybe, who the hell knows. It's dumb, but I'm not sure how to stop.

[ Cisco trails off at the end there, tucking the end of one braid beneath the beginning section of the other. He knows it sounds like he is just making excuses. ]

It's fine, bubbale. Don't sweat it.

[It isn't really fine, but not in a way that Cisco can really do anything about, it's just that now the comparison has been drawn it's hard from Taako to stop some traitorous part of his mind from wondering if it's true. Lucretia was frustrated with him, when he wouldn't consider her view point, and then she was so distant in the months leading up to her betrayal. Maybe she took away Lup as a way to hurt him.

But that's a really awful way to think, about someone he loves, and he's glad that there's a little stretch of silence where he can shove those thoughts away.]

And like, I get it. I-- [He wants to explain, that he understands that feeling, drawing comparisons between Sazed and everyone he meets. As soon as someone looks at him like he's infallible, like he's perfect, it makes his skin crawl. He wants to be admired, sure, but he wants the people close to him to be able to see through all that shit. Because then they won't be disappointed in him, and that disappointment won't turn bitter, the way it must have with Sazed.

But he can't talk about, so instead he just repeats, more quietly:] I get it.

[ If almost anyone else had said that they 'got it', there would be a part of Cisco stubbornly doubting they really could understand. But with Taako, Cisco knows it is true. He'd been there, done that, is an owner of the "someone close to me stabbed me in the back" t-shirt. So he doesn't question it, doesn't say anything more than a quiet and solemn: ]

Yeah.

[ A few more bobby pins, here and there, and Cisco is finished. He twists gently at the small wisps of hair he'd left in the front, just enough to frame Taako's face, gets a little unsteadily to his feet and takes a few steps back to examine the final outcome. He sets his hands on his hips, smiling in a wan way and then gesturing Taako over, towards the bathroom and its mirror ]

Come have a look?

[ It might not be quite as neat as he used to be able to do them, but it is still pretty damn cute. And Cisco feels a little burst of accomplishment and pride over that, which may be stupid, but right now it's nice to have a reminder that there are many parts of him that are still the same as before he met Eobard. There are things in his life that, despite his general pervasiveness, Eobard had never touched or influenced. ]

[Moving on from this subject is something that Taako is more than happy to do, so as soon as Cisco's finished up with the braids and his examination of them, Taako hops to his feet and makes his way over to the bathroom.

After a moment of scrutinizing it in the mirror:]

Do you accept constructive criticism?

[His tone is light, though, probably pretty familiar to Cisco by this point as Taako's "I'm tormenting you" voice. Because the braids are lovely, he's just a shit.]

[ Cisco leans his hip against the sink to steady himself; he hadn't realized quite how drunk he'd gotten until he'd gotten to his feet so quickly, and now the room is helpfully informing him by spinning quite a bit. But he's not reeling or falling over, so it's all good. He knows that some of the okay-ness he's feeling now is Taako - his reassurances, his presence - and another part of it is the wine. Hopefully, some of it will last when both of them aren't around. ]

Really? In my time of vulnerability? You're gonna go all braid expert on me?

[ The fact that he's even able to make that joke at his own expense is a good sign. Humor is one of Cisco's best ways of dealing with this bullshit, but it's hard to do that all on his own. What's a joke without an audience? ]

Fine, go for it.

[ He's curious now whether Taako had actually planned ahead and thought of something to say. ]

[Surprise, he did not! Because he rarely thinks these things through and just relies on spur of the moment decisions.]

It sucks.

[It's said with a laugh as Taako quickly closes the distance between himself and Cisco, plants a kiss on Cisco's cheek, and then skips past him back into the main part of the room.]

[ Cisco can't help but laugh at that; as insults go, it is so basic that it is completely toothless, and it couldn't be more obvious that Taako doesn't actually mean it. Cisco had been expecting a quip something like that, has his eyes all ready to roll. He hadn't been expecting the quick peck to his cheek, and it startles another little laugh from him even as Taako is bounding away. One of the unexpected side effects of getting to know some of the other people from Taako's world is that Cisco can tell much better now what is a regular custom from another world and what is just Taako, being idiosyncratic and, well. Taako.

He follows his friend back into the bedroom, flopping onto the couch and immediately reaching forward for one of the beignets. He hasn't had anything to eat today except red wine, which doesn't really count. Before, in the hours leading up to him texting Taako, every time he'd considered getting food, it had turned his stomach. But now, he is calm enough to actually feel that hunger, and he devours the pastry in no time at all, before picking up another one. He's trying not to make a mess with the powdered sugar, but he's a bit drunk and it's a losing battle. ]

Taako. Taako. This is honestly the greatest thing I've ever eaten, ever. How is it even possible a person made these?

[It's okay, Taako is a wizard who knows prestidigitation, so he waves a hand to make that extra powdered sugar disappear, as he decides to have a proper look around Cisco's room, just for the sake of it (he won't get too snoopy).]

First of all, we both know that's a lie cause I've cooked other shit for you that's been fucking leagues better, you're just drunk. Secondly, thank you.

Better is in the mouth of the beholder.

[ At least, that is almost definitely what Cisco said, though he had a good portion of another beignet in his mouth at the time, so it's possible a few of the words were slightly different. He usually manages much better table manners than this, but... wine, and hunger. ]

How do you even make these anyway?

[ Because he has found out over the course of their friendship that, if he's in the right mood, Taako loves not only baking things for people, but talking about the way that he made them, all the little steps and intricate care put in. Probably a holdover from his Sizzle It Up days. Whatever the reason, he can make a recipe into a hell of a story, and Cisco is curious what kinds of work go into a beignet.

Stuff might be messed up, horribly, but there are still sweets in the world. Still things to learn. And still friends to make him feel a little less awful. ]

riverview; ic contact & friendr

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