spellslots | riverview; ic contact & friendr

[Alcohol has been pretty much the coping method of choice, after hugs from Lup, and he knows that pretty soon he's going to have to get his shit together to stop, but... this is a social thing as much as anything.

So he takes a drink, blinking a little at the strength of it, but he can handle it.]

That's what I've been fucking saying! It's like, sure, cool, you get to go to rad parties and no one's trying to end the world or whatever, but we are gonna drag up all your shitty trauma and find ways to make it worse somehow.

I suppose I was still basking in the glow of all the perks up until now.

[Thor's shoulders slump, and he eases down so his forearms are resting on his knees.

It hasn't been sunshine and rainbows all the way, but he can't deny he settled very easily into a comfortable, domestic routine while knowing everything could go to shit at any minute.]

Now it's hard to imagine they aren't playing a little game with us all.

[There's a second of internal faltering, as Taako struggles to figure out what to do, before he just commits to leaning against Thor, offering a little bit of physical comfort.]

Maybe it's like-- I dunno, part of the whole quarantine shit? Put us through the ringer and see how we come out on the other side.

[The physical comfort means as much to Thor as any verbal reassurance. He lifts an arm, wrapping it around Taako's shoulders.]

Just a month ago I was telling everyone I thought this was a vacation. [Thor scoffs.]

We always knew, Bryn and I, that we'd have to go our separate ways eventually. I just thought it would be months from now, years even.

[Taako rolls his eyes at the vacation comment even if it's pointless when Thor isn't looking at him.]

That's-- yup, hard fucking same on that one. I never pushed like, all the secrets cause I thought we'd have more time to figure it out.

[Now he regrets it a little, the idea that he could've known Rin better than he did, instead of wasting time.]

[Thor raises a brow at the term secrets, but supposes he shouldn't think much of it. Taako is just That Kind of Elf.]

No. Bryn and I never rushed. I thought taking it slow would make it less painful, I've rushed into things before and.. [He trails off, with a shrug.]

Maybe a couple of mysterious, handsome people like you and I just aren't meant to be tied down.

Edited 2018-02-24 12:59 (UTC)

I dunno, seems like you've uh, you've got a pretty big heart.

[Is that the sort of thing that's appropriate to say? He's kind of past caring, obvious by the way he takes another considerable drink of whatever was in the bottle Thor handed him.]

You'll figure it out. This place is just shit for romance.

This place is shit for everything. [Thor retorts, rather than acknowledging the fact that he's a softie.]

I don't think home is going to be ideal for romance either. I think I'm going to have to tap out of the game for a long while, now.

Hey, at least you've got time, not like you're gonna get old soon.

[Honestly, he has no idea exactly how long Asgardians can live, but he's sure Thor has at least a handful of centuries left.]

I'm thinking about killing the assholes who pulled that stunt with the holograms, is that a bad idea?

[It'd be cathartic, if nothing else.]

I think the chances of me dying of old age are slim. [He lives a hectic life, Taako.]

And I think you'd regret that. Sorry, but on a scale of reasonable to Loki, that's a Loki idea.

Oh, for sure, but still.

[There's still a difference between someone like Magnus, who is human and will likely die in battle within the next couple decades, and Thor, who's Asgardian and might die in battle within the next couple centuries.]

I wouldn't like, get caught, I know how to kill some thugs without getting caught.

I am not in a frame of mind for good advice, but I think that even the great and powerful Taako might have some trouble inconspicuously picking off the brilliant scientists of Riverview.

[Although he very vividly remembers almost having his ass kicked, so..]

I think we should both just do whatever makes us happy, but I don't think murder makes you happy long term.

[He seems to consider it as he takes another drink.]

Someone would probably notice 'em going missing.

[The happy thing is far more complicated, Taako knows what makes him happy but shit is rough right now. He decides to turn it around on Thor because he's a bad person.]

What makes you happy, bubbale?

Well, I could say food, or fighting, or drinking, or sex. And I wouldn't be lying.. [Thor ponders. He's aware that Taako is turning it back on him, which presses him to give a more sincere answer.]

Making other people happy, mostly. Starting to think my life revolves around it more than anything else, actually.. Everything else I enjoy is secondary.

That's kinda shit.

[It's not judgement or pitying, just sort of a statement of fact, from Taako's perspective. There are a few people he cares about enough for their happiness to impact his own, everyone else can choke.]

I guess that's like, what a king is supposed to do or whatever, but relying on other people for your happiness is never gonna end well.

Being selfish didn't make me particularly happy either. [He's not defensive, but he explains.]

You'd be surprised what satisfaction I can gain from it. [Loki makes him happy every day for it, but he knows it's a little tenuous and that's really what Taako means.]

Are you going to answer the question now?

Can't relate.

[A joke! But also the goddamn truth because sure, on a small scale it makes him happy when Lup is happy, or when the rest of the IPRE are, or even Angus, but he can't imagine applying it on a grand scale. He's still selfish, his selfishness just happens to include a handful of people.]

I dunno, pumpkin, I spent five years famous and lonely then fives years on the run and fucking lonely and miserable. Most shit's better than that.

[It's a surprisingly honest answer, which is why he didn't want to give it, but whatever, he's here now.]

[Taako can put on the whole I'm a cool, aloof badass front all he wants, Thor still finds him to be warm and generous.

But he pointedly sees the best in almost everyone.]

So not being lonely makes you happy. [Thor says, blandly.] It's natural to want company, you don't need to fight it. They force us all together here, we might as well embrace it.

[It feels strange to be so open, especially with someone like Thor who he likes, but who he wouldn't count among his confidants. Maybe that's why it's easier, this is just a one off thing where they're drunk and vulnerable and they can never talk about it again. Might as well lean into it.]

I don't, uh-- I'm not great at being alone. [He had Lup, all his life and not having anyone is terrifying.] If I had to guess, that's probably why I jumped into shit with Eddie so quickly cause I like - did not wanna be stuck in this place on my own and sex is a great way to make people stick around.

[Something about that strikes a chord with Thor. He can relate to it, feeling like you need a certain kind of companionship to keep people around. Feeling empty without that sort of relationship in your life. Feeling as if he makes connections based on how he looks and what he is, not who he is.

More importantly, he hates to think Taako feels that way about himself. He's an affectionate person, and when he wants his words to have more bearing, he likes to accompany them with touch. He lifts a hand to brush some of Taako's hair from his face, letting it rest on his cheek.]

You're worth more than that to everyone you know, Taako. You're worth more than that to me.

Edited 2018-03-30 08:03 (UTC)

[Oh.

It's a surprisingly gentle gesture, not really something that Taako was expecting for a variety of reasons and he huffs out a breathy little laugh.]

I mean, we're not even fucking so I'd hope that's not why we're like - friends. [There's a word he always has a bit of trouble with, especially in honest moments.] But I know, I get it, things are just, uh... I was different, when I couldn't remember Lup. And the others.

[The Taako-without-Lup never had anyone who gave a shit about him.]

[The hand drops, but only so far as Taako's shoulder where it rests comfortably.]

I know that we're friends- and it's not that I wouldn't want to. [He feels a little awkward admitting that, but he just pushes forward.] I just wanted to make sure you knew that you're important to me, strange memory lapses aside.

[Ego vs genuine emotions is a difficult competition at the best of times for Taako, even more so when he's tipsy.]

If you make me say you're important to me too I'm gonna hurl. [Which is basically is way of saying it, just in a roundabout way because he's bad at admitting things. He even reaches up to rest his hand over Thor's where it sits on his shoulder.] Can we focus on the part where you're super into me?

[He's gonna get smacked and it'll be worth it.]

Fair. If you hurl I might not be so into you. [Thor says, dryly. He knows that Taako is a vain creature, so he's tempted to withhold his due compliments.

Luckily, he's not that cruel.]

If you think you're going to embarrass me, you're out of luck. I'm not blind. [A pause.] Not entirely, anyway. Surely you're used to people being into you by now.

[He considers making a joke about how it might end that way if he keeps drinking Asgardian booze but he's not that gross.]

Oh, like - I know I'm hot? But I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

[Between his personality and the fact he doesn't exactly do gender the way people expect. Not that this fact really effects his ego at all, it's just the way it is.]

There's no accounting for taste.

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