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[spellslots]

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CODE   🔋 12:01 AM

TAAKO

USERNAME
@fromTV

OCCUPTION
Pâtissier

MESSAGE
"You've got Taako. I'm too busy to take your call right now, leave a message."

TEXT

CALL

VIDEO

	Friendr
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	» Age: old enough to know better » Seeking: 💲💲💲 » Preferences: none of your business » Interests: cash money » Bio: greatest chef in Faerûn, greatest transmutation wizard, follow me on insta @fromTV for the real shit
	base code by photosynthesis
	Taako
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Comments

[spellslots]

I'd fucking hope so, after 50 years

[A hundred, really, but look at him, not slipping up!!]

Well hey, check out that cutie ;)

[scholiast]

(Oh yes, he's doing very well.)

Yeah yeah, stop it.

Fifty years is so excessive. Thank goodness we all get along, huh?

[spellslots]

Fuck, can you imagine if we didn't? I mean, there's been a few times I've wanted to kill Magnus, but you know.

[scholiast]

Yeah, the alternative is... dicey.

Honestly, I've had beef with every single one of you in turn, but never anything bad enough to pick a fight so... guess it's working out just fine, huh.

[spellslots]

The fact you've had beef with me is fucking unbelievable, I'm perfect.

[Okay sure Taako.]

Wait, shit, do you think we got chosen cause they thought we'd work well together? Not just cause we're all super awesome.

[scholiast]

A perfect person wouldn't use prestidigitation to change my pen ink invisible for laughs, Taako.

(Just saying!)

Probably a hearty dose of both? We wouldn't have been chosen if they thought we were going to fight all the time.

[spellslots]

It was a good goof and I stand by it

[His great sense of humour that never comes at the expense of others is clearly the best part about him.]

That totally explains me and Lup at least. They were taking a gamble with her and Magnus though, can you imagine if they didn't get along?

[They both have very strong personalities, which Taako does too, but he's better at talking his way out of shit and being nice to get what he wants.]

[scholiast]

... It was pretty funny. But that's beside the point.

(Keep on telling yourself that bud.)

Good point. Honestly, they were taking a gamble with Barry and I too, it's a miracle that we actually talk to each other in between all of our anti-social time.

(Get it. Cuz they're nerds.)

[spellslots]

The fact it's funny is exactly the point and you know it.

I'm surprised you didn't come up with a secret nerd language so you didn't have to talk to the rest of us loud assholes.

[He gets it.]

[scholiast]

For all you know we've been swapping devastating stories about you this whole time in just such a language.

But seriously, I think they chose pretty well. I wouldn't trade any of you for anything.

[spellslots]

I'm calling horseshit on that, neither of you have devastating stories about me.

[If it was Lup, it'd be different, but y'all don't know his terrible secrets.]

I'd trade Magnus for someone who smells nicer.

[This is his way of saying he wouldn't trade any of them, either, because he has no legitimate complaints about any of them. Even Lucretia.]

[scholiast]

Okay I'll concede that one. Just regular, run-of-the-mill embarrassing shit.

(She gets it. But also:)

I'd trade Merle for somebody who doesn't hot box the bathroom.

[spellslots]

I can live with that.

[He's pretty sure Barry wouldn't trade too many stories anyway, out of fear of retaliation. Lucretia is braver.]

Or Lup for someone who doesn't steal my nicest skirts.

[that's hard to type, even for as a joke.]

[scholiast]

(Yowch.)

Or Davenport for someone who will let me fly the ship.

[spellslots]

[Hoo boy.]

Here's a sneak peak for ya, Davenport stops being such a tight ass about who pilots.

[That's innocuous enough that he doesn't think it will hurt.]

[scholiast]

No way! I've been trying to get him to let me have a go for ages.

(Something to look forward to!)

[spellslots]

It finally sunk in that we need to know our shit, if anything happens to him.

[scholiast]

That's what I've been trying to tell him.

I think he's just precious about being the only one who can do it. I guess it does make him pretty cool.

[spellslots]

There's nothing about Cap'n'port that's cool, let's not lie to each other.

[scholiast]

Aw c'mon, being the one who drives the ship gives him a couple points don't you think?

(Poor Davenport.)

thx gmail for eating the notif for this

[spellslots]

Any cool points he could get are negated by the moustache

delicious notif yum yum

[scholiast]

... Fair.

So he's on neutral cool points? Where do the rest of the crew stand d'you think?

lov the cronch

[spellslots]

I am, of course, the coolest. Lup comes in at a paltry second. Not sure if you or Mags are third, just cause you've got that whole smart and competent thing going on, but Magnus has got so much confidence it'd probably kill a normal person. Barry, Davenport and Merle in that order.

Merle is last cause like, have you seen that guy dance?

dont speak of the cronch

[scholiast]

(Nice try.)

Your self-confidence is as heart-warming as ever but we both know that Lup is cooler than you, Taako.

The rest of the list is accurate. Especially Merle's dancing because: yikes.

lup eating a banana the wrong way as the crew looks on horrified

[spellslots]

Sounds fake but okay.

He's like a drunk grandpa on acid, it's a bad look.