Taako (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spellslots) wrote2017-12-07 07:14 pm
spellslots) wrote2017-12-07 07:14 pm
Entry tags:
riverview; ic contact & friendr
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no subject
Qualms about killing him aren't the issue.
[ He'd already watched Eobard disintegrating into thin air, begging him for help, and all he'd felt was cold, shocked relief. He has a feeling that, if Taako were to kill him again, he might actually muster up some happiness for it, this time. And probably cry his eyes out for a day, afterwards. But even so... ]
It's more... logistics. I just. Don't want him to kill you.
[ Cisco believes in Taako. He believes he is a powerful wizard, and that when he goes back to his world, he and his friends are going to kick the Hunger's apocalyptic horrifying ass. But when it comes to Eobard, he loses the ability to gauge objectively. He honestly doesn't know what would happen, if the two of them fought. Taako certainly has the ability to cause a lot more damage - but more doesn't guarantee a victory. Dead from 10,000 blows and dead from 1 quick, just-strong-enough blow are still both the same amount dead. ]
Or me. [ It seems stupid, after everything, not to at least be honest. He thinks the cat is pretty well out of the damn bag, when it comes to him being afraid of Eobard. That ship has sailed. Cisco stares down at his crossed legs, gnaws at his lower lip for a moment before adding: ] Again.
no subject
Until coming here, there'd been no one in Taako's life that had really made him afraid. Circumstances had, and there had definitely been things that left him unsettled or worried, like Edward and Lydia and their time in Wonderland. Like the panic he'd felt when Lup told him about her plan to become a lich. But nothing really frightened him, the way Eobard clearly frighten's Cisco, and... it still doesn't. Dodger had made him afraid, and some of that still sits unhappily somewhere in the back of Taako's thoughts, but he knows that if shit goes down again, he can and will kill Dodger.
So it's... hard, to truly understand where Cisco is coming from, but he wants to try.]
How did it happen?
[It isn't like Eddie's death, and Taako knows that resurrection isn't normal in their world. It's not curiosity that drives him to ask, it's an attepmt to understand.]
no subject
I was an idiot.
[ He's quiet for a moment after that, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of the brush moving through his hair. It's still a bit of a challenge, putting it all together into a neat narrative. But he has to try. ]
I knew that trap I'd build for the Reverse Flash should have worked. Scientifically, it should have. And suspicions were starting to pile up against Wells. Eddie... Iris's dad, Joe... this reporter named Mason... a lot of people smarter than me noticing a pattern where people were "disappearing" and Dr. Wells was the last one to see them.
[ In retrospect, so painfully obvious, but at the time, so impossible to believe. He'd been blinded by his love for the man. Cisco's hands fidget in his lap and he stares down at them, his back tense, the words coming a little jerkier. ]
I didn't want to believe them. But I had Caitlin lure him out of the lab anyway. I didn't know he had surveillance cameras everywhere. He knew exactly what was going on. I went down to the basement, alone, to see what went wrong with the forcefield. He... showed up.
[ That part, Taako had glimpsed, in that first vibe during their experiment. The moment when those elevator doors opened and he saw Dr. Wells standing up and knew he was going to die. He doesn't know if Taako had been able to feel it - the fear so dense in the air he could hardly breathe. He doesn't even know how to ask. But he does know that Taako has died before, and remembered it. If anyone might understand...
Cisco lifts a hand to rub absently at his chest, over his heart, not realizing he is doing it. ]
I tried to talk my way out of it, but he didn't buy it. He... said a bunch of shit about how it was a shame he had to kill me, because I was like a son to him, and then he shoved his hand in my chest and ripped my heart to shreds.
[ Cisco looks down, noticing what he is doing and deliberately drops both hands into his lap, lacing his fingers together. He doesn't know what Taako's 'how' had meant - the method of the murder, or why he's still alive. Hastily, he adds. ]
Barry reset the timeline by a day. He didn't know what happened to me, it was just... a coincidence. An accident. The second time stuff happened in a different way, I never went down in the basement, never got my ass murdered. But that's when I started having my vibes. Just kept... reliving it over and over. I thought I was going crazy, but. I wasn't.
no subject
He does wonder if this is the first time Cisco's told anyone about what happened with Eobard, but that's not really an important part of it, right now.
So he just listens, brushing Cisco's hair, waiting for him to get the full story out before saying anything. At some point, midway through, he sections off a part of Cisco's hair and starts on the first braid, careful not to pull too hard.]
That's fucked up.
[His voice is soft, sympathetic, and he lays a hand on Cisco's back for a moment, just offering some small comfort. I'm sorry would've felt too stupid in the face of all of that, but he wanted to say something to at least acknowledge that it's a messed up thing that Cisco had to go through. Not just Eobard's betrayal, but being forced to relive it more than once is fucking awful, and that's coming from someone who's done the same thing.]
So, not letting him get close is step two. Assuming step one is making sure he doesn't suspect shit until I'm ready to go.
[He doesn't know how to be like... emotionally supportive, but he can talk to Cisco about what to do if Eobard shows up, and maybe that will help.]
You think he'd buy it if you played like you were from before all that shit?
no subject
Yeah.
[ He's grateful that Taako doesn't ask for more details, or worse, clarifications. Cisco had gotten over the immense hurdle (at least that's how it feels) of telling the whole story, as best he could, and he doesn't think that he could bear being questioned right now. Instead, Taako gives him something to focus on - concrete thoughts on what they'll do in case he shows his ugly face here, and it's precisely what Cisco needs.
He clears his throat, shoulders relaxing a little. Cisco keeps his head as still as he can while Taako is braiding, and says: ]
Step one should be easier here than back in Central City. We've got home turf advantage. He was always one step ahead of us, and we could never figure out how, but it was 'cause he'd put recording equipment all around the lab and... you know, in our apartments and places we hung out and stuff, so any time we discussed a plan, he knew about it.
[ Cisco can't help a quick, darting glance up to the overhead lights of his cozy little attic room. As soon as he'd gone back to being his usual paranoid fucker self, he'd checked there, and everywhere else he could think of, for bugs, cameras, etcetera. Better safe than sorry. ]
He... [ Cisco has to stop a moment, a little wave of nausea slowing him down, but he swallows it back and forges on, determined. ] I think he liked killing people close up. But distance isn't going to do you a lot of good with a speedster. Once he sees you, even if you are a mile away, if he wants to be close, he'll be close faster than you can do a spell, or blink, or react at all.
[ Taako's question about whether Cisco could trick Eobard into thinking he knows nothing is not entirely unexpected. He'd wondered the same thing, himself, when he'd played out various scenarios in his head. ]
I don't know. I could always try, but I'm not exactly the world's best actor, and... he knows me. Knew me, I mean. But maybe I could convince him.
[ Cisco tries to keep some hope in that statement, but considering how even thinking about Eobard can sometimes make him start shaking with fear... he's not optimistic. Looking back, it must have been pathetically obvious, during that interval between his death and when Eobard revealed himself as the Reverse Flash. Even without cameras sending him a live feed of Cisco's nonstop nightmares, Eobard must have seen the fear and confusion that Cisco was fighting so hard to hide so poorly. ]
no subject
Okay, we'll put the 'you pretend not to know he's an evil motherfucker' on the back burner for now.
[It's not that he wants to doubt Cisco, it's just that if he can't say with confidence that he can handle it, Taako doesn't think it's worth the risk. There are other options that don't involve making Cisco face someone he's terrified of.]
We can also rule out any spell that needs to actually hit it's target, no fireballs or whatever, but I've got a few that just work. [Things he can cast so long as Eobard is in range, although some of them might require a saving throw, on Eobard's part but that's a bridge they can cross when they get to it.] I mean, magic jar might work. Take over his body and kill it that way.
[What he doesn't say is that if magic jar works, there's a very real chance he could also die, but again, that's a problem for the future.]
no subject
[ He may be from the future, where technology is much more advanced, but the rules of magic are different. Eobard won't understand them, won't know what to expect. ]
Magic jar?
[ When Taako first says that name, Cisco is imagining something fairly whimsical - an actual, magical mason jar of some sort, forming all around Eobard in his Reverse Flash getup. Maybe slowly filling from the bottom with jam, like something out of an action movie where the heroes are trapped in a small space that is flooding, but much sillier.
Except then Taako is talking about taking over his body, and killing it, and Cisco feels a sudden rush of disgust at himself, imagining stupid nonsense about jam when they're brainstorming the best way to murder someone - even someone as evil as Eobard. His tiny smile, from when he'd imagined that big glass jar, slips away. It is possible he has a few qualms, after all. Not enough to stop him, should that day ever come. Just enough to make him feel a little bit sick, right now, thinking about it. Or maybe it's the wine.
(Which isn't, of course, going to prevent him for reaching for his cup and taking a nice big drink before he asks): ]
Hey, Taako, can we, uh... save the rest of the strategizing for another day, maybe? I know it's important, I know, I'm just uh. Not... firing on all the cylinders, y'know?
no subject
For sure, bubbale. I thought it might like, help, but if you're not up to it we can talk about whatever. Or I can just shut up and keep doing your hair and we don't gotta talk about nothing.
[Maybe just Taako sticking around will be enough to make Cisco feel a bit better, since that's the real goal here.
Honestly, he doesn't need to strategize against Eobard. There are plenty of ways to kill someone, regardless of how fast they are.]
no subject
[ That had been the one thing that had helped, in the hard months after Eobard's death, and Eddie's, when Barry and Caitlin had gone off to lick their wounds alone and had left Cisco to deal with his trauma on his own. As far as closure went, seeing a guy dissolve into the air was pretty conclusive.
But it wasn't, because there were still the nightmares, and the visions, and now he's here with the knowledge that anyone could show up from any point in the timeline, including Eobard. That hadn't bothered him too much, before now.
Cisco has been trying not to move his head, so Taako can work on the braids more easily, but he does tilt it back enough that he can swallow down the rest of the wine in his cup. Sure, getting completely drunk isn't the ideal way of coping with things, but right now Cisco isn't even bothering to aim for ideal. He'll settle for temporarily effective. Even if it does make him run his mouth maybe a little more than he ought to. ]
I should've told you all of that ages ago. About him murdering me. I just... [ Cisco's voice cracks, and he clears his throat, waiting a moment until he can speak in some semblance of calm before he continues: ] ....it's stupid. I mean you've died, like, a dozen times or whatever, and you're not falling to pieces, and I died once and it was an erased timeline so it doesn't even fucking count probably and I'm a- a basket case.
no subject
I didn't cook for five years, my dude.
[No one killed him, and at the time he didn't even know it was a betrayal, but... he thought he'd fucked up and it haunted him for five years. He was still trying to figure out what went wrong, still couldn't control his magic, so he can hardly judge Cisco for being "basket case" over dying.]
Cause it's not the dying, really. I can not give a shit about all the times I've died cause it was the Hunger or Magnus fucking cutting the wrong wire in a bomb or a stupid accident.
[It was never a betrayal. It was never someone he loved and trusted turning on him and literally tearing his heart out, so he doesn't think it's fair to compare his experience to Cisco's.]
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I'm sorry. Those must've been bad years.
[ An understatement if ever there was one.
And Cisco really considers it: particularly if Taako knew he had a very good chance of coming back at the start of the next loop, maybe dying itself wasn't the real problem. Sure, it probably wasn't pleasant, and maybe a few of the times had been really dreadful. But even so, it's clear that what had happened with Sazed had left a much deeper wound.
Certainly, he knows that in his own memories, turning around and seeing Dr. Wells standing in the elevator, not in his wheelchair, knowing they were both alone and that Dr. Wells would only let Cisco see that if he intended to not leave him as a witness - that moment had been worse, even, than the pain of his heart being shredded to pieces. ]
I'm glad you're cooking again. And... I kinda wish I could kick that guy into a pit of snakes for doing that to you and all those people.
[ Cisco has no doubt that in the event Sazed actually came through the portal somehow, Taako would be more than capable of dealing with him, in a way Cisco himself would not be with Eobard. But then, Sazed had clearly been a coward, using poison, striking at Taako in such an underhanded way. ]
I hope- I hope I get better eventually, too.
[ It seems impossible, from where he is now. Like things will keep on being this bad indefinitely, and he'll always be stuck checking rooms for cameras and doubting and second-guessing people (particularly charming ones, that wanted to befriend him). Even with Eobard gone, it feels like he is managing to control Cisco's life - the screaming nightmare that had made him leave the communal housing, the dream-vibe experiment that had gone wrong. Hell, he still can only barely tolerate anyone putting their hand anywhere near his heart.
But maybe he has been too impatient with himself. Maybe he hasn't had enough time, even though it feels like it's been forever. ]
Did Magnus really try to defuse a bomb?
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So he shrugs, assuming Cisco will either hear the rustle of fabric or feel the movement from where Taako's hands are in his hair, but he doesn't want to address it.]
I'm sure you will, you've got this far.
[It's easier to offer sympathy than to accept it, sometimes. And Taako believes what he's saying, too. The fact that Cisco is still kind despite a betrayal of that level speaks volumes about his character. It's more than Taako could ever manage.]
And yeah he did. Three fucking times we blew up before we figured out to grab the keycards and save us the trouble of cutting wires and shit.
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Yeah. I guess I have.
[ Everything that had happened this week had felt like backsliding, like some of that hard-won progress had been taken from him. But maybe it doesn't have to be that way. Maybe the silver lining will be moving a tiny bit closer to outright accepting he's different, permanently, and no longer wishing he could go back to the way he was before it had all happened. ]
Three times?!
[ It would almost be funny, if it were something in a video game, but since it involves his friend getting repeatedly blown up... a lot of that humor is somehow missing. But it does remind Cisco of something he had been meaning to ask, before he'd gotten distracted by losing parts of his memory and then horribly regaining them. ]
How are things? Like... with Magnus, here?
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[He doesn't bother explaining that this was in Refuge, when they were stuck in their cycle of death and destruction, mostly because he figures that's something Cisco can work out from context clues. Most of their deaths during their time on the Starblaster was due to either something killing them or a stupid accident, not a puzzle dungeon.]
It's, uh, better? I guess. He doesn't think I'm crazy, so that's a plus, for sure. [His hands still for a moment, as he struggles with what to say next, because he's not-- because this is hard.] It's stupid cause he's like, right fucking there. But I miss him.
[He misses the Magnus who knows him, who he spent a century with, through the good and the bad.]
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[ There's just a touch of dry humor in that; Magnus must have been pretty sure that they would be brought back, if he would get all of them killed just to save a bit of time. He wonders what that must be like - even if Taako doesn't know what dying here might do to him, he must have a different relationship with death and the idea of dying, by necessary consequence of all that. ]
It's not stupid to miss him.
[ Cisco reaches back for Taako's knee, finds it and leaves his hand there for a moment, a nonverbal reassurance. ]
You're a lot stronger than I am. If Caitlin or Barry showed up and couldn't remember me, I think I'd cave and give them the stuff. Even though it would mean Caitlin remembering Ronnie dying, or Barry remembering... remembering all the shit with Dr. Wells.
[ There is some hesitation, before Cisco says the name, but he keeps it mostly together. Which is some progress, even if it's only temporary. ]
He did a number on me, and Eddie too, but Barry had it the worst.
[ Cisco could explain further, maybe even should, but he doesn't feel like detailing any more awfulness right now. Taako gets the general idea. ]
Anyway, that's not- my point is... you got a lotta self-restraint.
[ More quietly, clearly not just talking about Magnus anymore, Cisco says: ]
You're a good friend.
no subject
But he doesn't think he's really got all that much self-restraint. Every time he looks at Magnus he thinks about just... giving him the ichor, either tricking him into it or lying or just cutting out the fucking middle man and doing what Barry did, with Davenport. It wouldn't be hard to compel Magnus to drink it.]
It's gotta be his choice, you know? As much as it can be.
[It's going to be hard to get the explanation across, but Taako wants to try. They're just... working up to it.
Maybe that makes him a good friend, maybe it doesn't. But he gets that Cisco isn't just talking about the situation with Magnus.]
I uh, I wasn't always. It's a work in progress.
[He's glad that he was given the ichor so early into his stay here. By the time people got to know him, he'd remembered Lup. He'd remembered how to be kind.]
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[ Cisco thinks he has a somewhat new appreciation of that, after the week he's had. The happiness he'd felt not remembering about Eobard had been a lie, but wow had he been happy. And even now, with Taako here to keep him from unraveling completely, he is not happy. Getting back to happy is going to take some doing.
So he can see how, if the process were similar for Magnus, and he knew who was responsible for flipping the switch, and he hadn't had any input, there might be some resentment there. ]
Always doesn't matter. Now is what matters. And... tomorrow and the day after.
[ Cisco huffs out a short laugh at the way that had sounded, as if he is implying Taako should come back and do this again and again, like his own personal braid servant. ]
I'm not saying you gotta look after me all week. I just meant that being a good friend, or a good person, is something you gotta choose every day. Just because you started choosing it more recently than somebody else doesn't make you worse than them.
[ Cisco knows that in general Taako's self-image is pretty damn healthy and confident, but he has drunk a lot of red wine and he's also in a headspace to appreciate loyalty, acutely. So rather than just leaving it there, he draws in a slow breath and adds: ]
You, and Eddie... you've both been here for me, any time I needed you. I'm not used to... It's just... I've never had that, before. From friends or, y'know. Anybody.
[ It's not the easiest to say, because in a way it's an accusation of his friends in Central City, for not having Cisco's back at the times when he needed them most. Cisco hadn't even realized it at the time. He'd been so pathetically grateful that he even had friends that he never would have criticized their behavior. Not even when at times it was maybe not the greatest. Caitlin, snapping at him that he was crazy for thinking Wells could do anything wrong, leaving him to investigate all on his own, then disbelieving him when he told them all about his nightmares. Barry, coaxing him into experimenting with the goggles even when he was terrified and uncertain, talking him into re-enacting the lead-up to his murder as a trap even after Cisco said he thought he might have PTSD, and then caring more about getting a potential confession from Wells than about saving Cisco's life. The both of them, deserting him for months when they didn't feel like seeing him.
Having a point of comparison does wonders for putting things in perspective. And the sort of friend that Taako has been for Cisco has made it clearer that, as much as he loved them, Barry and Caitlin didn't have his back in the same way. Not even close. ]
Okay, okay. Done being a sap, I promise. Can I braid yours, when you're done?
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It's not that he minds, really, and it's not entirely out of left field for Cisco to say stuff like this, it's just that despite remembering Lup, there's still a part of him that wants to immediately shut down as soon as feelings happen, to avoid any kind of discomfort. Little bits of it are fine, or things that don't involve him quite so much, like letting Jon cry on him. But this is Cisco saying he's glad that Taako has been there for him and talking about choosing to be good and it's just a lot.
So when Cisco offers up that little bit of a joke, Taako happily latches onto it.]
Oh, thank god, I thought it was never gonna end.
[And he does make it sound like a joke, even if also gives Cisco's shoulder a brief squeeze, a silent I heard you. It's probably not enough, he feels guilty for not being able to find some kind of words to say in response, but it's all he's got right now.]
And I can be done whenever, I'm just kinda messing around back here.
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That perspective says that actions speak so much louder than words that the difference is incomparable. Barry and Caitlin could say they were Cisco's friends, but they had only acted like it when it suited them. Hell, Eobard had said he loved Cisco, thought of him as a son, and then murdered him.
And here Taako is, complaining that he thought Cisco's sappy speech would never end, all while gently twisting Cisco's hair together into braids, careful and soothing. He had forgiven Cisco at once, had come over to keep him company even though he is the hottest of hot messes at the moment, and he stands to gain nothing from the whole thing.
Cisco doesn't need words from Taako - his actions are more than enough. ]
Okay. Gimme a shot, then. I wanna see if I can still do a crown braid. Lemme check this out first, though.
[ Cisco gets up off the couch, makes his way over into the little attached bathroom so he can examine his hair in the mirror. He makes tiny appreciative noises at what Taako had done with his hair, pauses a few extra moment to splash some cold water on his face and clean himself up a little. It is still obvious that he had cried earlier, and he's a touch flushed from the booze, but he looks semi-human, at least.
When he comes back he has a few elastics, and seems more stable than he has since Taako arrived. ]
I used to be okay at this, but it's been a few years. I'd always get put on braid duty for the little cousins when there were big family whatevers.
[ Cisco undoes Taako's hair, shaking it out loose and finger-combing it quickly before he gets started. ]
So did you hear anything about what made us forget stuff? I mean... how, or why?
[ He hadn't been in the researching mood, since he'd gotten his memories back, but now that he is feeling a little more himself, he's starting to be curious. ]
no subject
And then he'd joined the IPRE, and suddenly there were five more people in his life who became like family. At first, it had been hard, seven people with different communication styles living through the apocalypse together, over and over again, but eventually they'd all worked it out. None of them ever expected more from him than he could give, they understood that it didn't matter if he told them he didn't give a shit, because at the end of the day, he'd be there regardless of what had or hadn't been said.
He appreciates that Cisco seems to get this, too. It means he doesn't have to feel too bad about not being able to articulate a response.
So while Cisco is in the bathroom, Taako hops up briefly to stretch his legs, then resettles himself on the couch for his turn at braiding adventures.]
You cannot be worse at it than Magnus.
[It's been a long time since that, too, since anyone but Lup has really messed with his hair. Sometimes Lucretia will do little braids if he's sprawled on her during a movie night, but that's not the same as sitting still while Cisco finger combs his hair but - it's fine. He trusts Cisco.]
Uh, I heard something about a mission bringing back... spores? Some plant bullshit, but as soon as I knew it wasn't magic I stopped listening, sorry.
[He's not a botanist.]
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[ That seems to Cisco to be, likely enough, an interesting and hopefully not super personal or private period of Taako's life that he doesn't know about yet. To him, it seems kind of great, that Taako and Magnus at least keep meeting, keep becoming friends despite not always remembering one another.
He parts Taako's hair down the middle, begins pulling together a dutch braid from the nape of his neck, moving up and over his ear, carefully incorporating in more and hair to the three strands as he goes. It's good, to have tactile to focus on, something semi-complicated to do with his hands. ]
Spores. Why's it always gotta be spores?
[ Cisco's certainly not a botanist, either. But the fact that he is willing to joke a little about the amnesia - or at least the thing that caused it - is progress. ]
Maybe I'll just start going around in a gas mask all the time. Make it the new fashion trend. That wouldn't be creepy, right?
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Taako doesn't address the gas mask or the spores or anything, because the question drags him back to the moment of that explanation, and the scenes that followed.
You fucking took everything from me.]
Lucretia.
[It's an easy answer, but one said quietly. There's no funny or exciting story here, no bond that drew them back together; they reunited because Lucretia wanted them to, because even after she ruined his life, she still wanted to control it. Maybe he should be more generous; it's not like he was in a good place before she found him, and reclaiming the relics led to him remembering Lup but...
It's hard not to be bitter, sometimes, especially when all he can think about is her explanation that came only seconds before he leveled the umbra staff at her, ready to do... gods knows what. He's not sure what he was ready to do.]
no subject
The one-word answer explains a lot. Cisco knows that Lucretia and Taako are friendly enough to be living together, but they've also known each other for 100 years. That makes them more like family than just friends, and Cisco knows just how messy and ambivalent stuff can get when it comes to family. And if it turns out that, in addition to erasing so much of Taako's memories, she was also pulling the strings while he didn't remember... well, how could that not be complicated. ]
Gotcha.
[ Which is his deliberately casual way to say that he understands, that Taako doesn't have to say any more if he doesn't want to. Cisco keeps on braiding, reaches the point where there is no more hair to incorporate and he just braids out the rest quickly, secures the end with a small elastic. Then he is switching to the other side, the other half of Taako's hair, and starting a new Dutch braid, this one going downwards from his forehead.
He should probably change the subject entirely. But Cisco instead says: ]
I haven't got any clue how much stuff in my life for the last few years happened by accident and how much was Dr. Wells pulling the strings. I'm pretty sure he made it so I got the apartment I did, because it would be easier to bug so he could spy on me. And I think he might've... I think maybe he arranged things so nobody else would offer me a very good job, because he wanted me working for him, and feeling like I was lucky for the opportunity.
[ The transition, from one topic to another, leaves no question that Cisco didn't just randomly dive into talking about the power that Eobard exerted over his life; he is making an explicit comparison, to Lucretia, setting up Taako and Merle and Magnus to meet again. Comparing her to Eobard. ]
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Don't.
[Lucretia hurt him, a lot, but he can't stand the comparison because it's too much like suggestion that she hurt him on purpose; it's easier to accept being collateral damage, to accept that she let him be hurt as a necessity, but not because she was cruel or selfish, like Eobard. Because if he can't believe that she did what she did out of love, he doesn't think he'll ever forgive her.]
Have you ever - uh, you know when you do something and like halfway through it gets fucked up but you don't wanna quit cause then you've wasted all your time, so you keep trying even if you don't think it's gonna work out?
[It's like that.]
no subject
Sorry.
[ He doesn't argue the point; he doesn't want to hurt Taako any more than he already has with the mere suggestion of a similarity. Taako knows Lucretia much better than he does; Cisco had thought she was very nice, when they had spoken. (But then, Cisco thinks, he had loved and been devoted to Eobard, so he doesn't exactly have a whole lot of faith in his intuition when it comes to people).
He makes wordless sound of agreement, confirming he has experienced at the sort of mindset that Taako is describing. At first, he thinks that it doesn't excuse what she'd done to Taako; a moment later, though, all the anger goes out of him. What is he even doing, comparing Lucretia to him? Eobard had stalked people, murdered people in cold blood, had traveled back in time just to try kill a child - all for selfish reasons. Lucretia, from what he's heard, had done what she'd done to try to save the universe and help her friends. Big difference. ]
I shouldn't have said that.
[ There's real contrition in his voice, and his hands work a bit faster on the braid, finishing it out and securing the end with another elastic. He starts pulling gently at the braids, widening them, making them look bigger and just a touch messy. Then, he pulls a few of the bobby pins from his pocket and starts to work on pinning those braids into a neat crown circling Taako's head.
This cynicism, this awful tendency to extrapolate pure evil from the smallest coincidental similarity to Eobard, is something he'd been free of for a week. Now, it's back with a vengeance, making him speak ill of a woman he barely knows. Cisco sighs, gnaws at his bottom lip. He has the braid on the left positioned and pinned before he says: ]
I do that too much. Compare people to him. Just... usually not out loud. But internally. Like, as a defense mechanism, maybe, who the hell knows. It's dumb, but I'm not sure how to stop.
[ Cisco trails off at the end there, tucking the end of one braid beneath the beginning section of the other. He knows it sounds like he is just making excuses. ]
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