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[ Would he take the option if he knew it was there? Probably not. This is the strangest feeling he's ever experienced, and it's all he can do not to think too closely into it, because there's a depth of genuine existential fear there that it just wouldn't be productive to fall into.

He shrugs one shoulder, still looking at his hand for a moment before his eyes find Taako again, though they don't stay there long. Finally though, he allows himself to lean in just a little closer. Selfish. He's going to be gone, and he's going to have left this moment behind for Taako to carry with the others. More weight to join the extra almost visible on his shoulders. But right now, Kravitz isn't gone yet, he's still here, and he's... scared. ]

Just being here helps.

[ A sad smile, down at where their hands are joined, still. ]

If I was going to choose who spend this time with, I - well - I suppose you know that.

[ He exhales a breath of humorless laughter, and there's a certain vaguely strangled quality to his voice when he speaks again. For a man just this side of disconcertingly tall, he certainly looks smaller in this moment than he possibly ever has. ]

... I wanted to stay with you, you know. Here, like I said I would. I was ready to just...

Hey, hey, stop. [His voice is gentle but it doesn't leave room for argument, this isn't something that's open for discussion. He wants Kravitz to stop beating himself up.] You don't gotta feel guilty or explain yourself or like - reassure me. I know, okay? All of it, but it this is outta your hands, don't feel shitty about that.

[It's easier said than done and he knows that, too, but he can't not say it. He hates seeing Kravitz look this sad.

Maybe that's why he releases Kravtiz's hands, though it's just so Taako can move to properly lay down on the bed, patting the space beside him.]

C'mere, I've got you.

[ Kravitz hesitates - but if he's honest, there's never really any question in his mind of whether or not he's going to do as he's bid. It's easy to listen to Taako. Too easy. It always has been. So he moves to lay down next to him, carefully leaving more space between them than he would have liked to - imminent critical existence failure hardly gives a man the right to ignore boundaries, after all, and that's not his place with this Taako.

He wonders for a moment if it ever could have been. ]

I almost feel like I should start trying to be horrible to you, so you might be happier to be rid of me.

[ He tries for a smile, and it only mostly looks completely agonised. And who knows - maybe Taako will be glad to see the last of him regardless. He can see how that might be, in a perverse sort of way. And he could hardly fault him for it. ]

[Well if Kravitz won't close the distance between them, Taako will, since the whole point of this was comforting him. Taako scoots a little closer to put an arm over Kravitz's shoulders, palm resting between his shoulder blades. From there it's easy to just rest his forehead against Kravitz's, something he does with Lup almost every time one of them is hurting and he always finds it comforting. Maybe Kravitz will too.

His voice is soft when he speaks.]

I get that you're going for a joke there but seriously, my man, quit thinking about me for like two seconds.

[Most of the time Taako is Taako's primary concern but he's trying not to be selfish right now.]

[ Kravitz is stiff for a moment, unsure - but finally he sighs and relaxes into this, trying to just let himself have what he's being given. One hand rests lightly on Taako's waist and he lets his eyes fall closed for a moment. It's... a lot more comforting than he thought it would be. ]

I'm not sure what else to think about.

[ It feels very much as if the world has abruptly shrunk to the size of this room, and the idea of anything outside of it is so far away and unreal that it hardly matters. ]

[This would almost be nice, if the circumstances weren't quite so awful.]

Tell me about the wedding?

[It's something recent enough that it should be easy enough to recount, something for Kravtiz to think about that isn't... all of this, everything that's happening.]

[ The wedding. He thinks back, and it almost feels like another life entirely, and maybe that's what it is to feel false. Relating what should have been a shared memory only days old that for which, in various senses, neither of them were actually there.

No, come on. Kravitz sets his jaw for a moment and pushes past that. ]

It was - it was lovely, really. Merle officiated, of course, and in fairness to him he misspoke a lot less than I thought he might.

[ It could have been disastrous - but no one died, which is always a high point of a wedding. ]

Carey and Killian sort of - raced each other to the lectern? And later I asked you if that was something people always did, because I hadn't been anywhere near a wedding in so long...

[ He laughs softly. Not the most intelligent question he's ever asked, in retrospect. ]

It was nice. It felt like something everybody deserved, after it all.

Merle actually says some pretty profound shit when he wants to. Still can't believe he's got fucking kids.

[None of this is particularly important, the details of the wedding or how Taako feels about the people back in Fearun; he's talking for the sake of it, to give them something to focus on other than the inevitable end of this moment.]

Sounds like it was neat, something to look forward to. Not that I'm gonna remember looking forward to it, pretty sure we forget this place when we leave.

[In a way, this version of him will disappear too.]

[ Oh. That... that seems a shame. Kravitz hums thoughtfully for a moment. ]

Will you tell me about what it's like here, then?

[ He's already heard enough to know that it can be cruel - this is cruel, all by itself - but... ]

There must be good times..?

The parties are pretty good, and the festivals, it's just like all this inbetween stuff that's bullshit.

[They don't seem to happen with any regularity and everyone is effected differently, it just happens to have been a rough couple of months for Taako.]

There was a kink expo, that was kinda fun. I got all dressed up in ropes cause my girl Bryn was doing demos for her culture. We went to a lot of shows together, I think she's seen me naked more times than most of the dudes I've fooled around with ever did.

[ Ropes? That's... brazen. Kravitz opens his eyes and leans back slightly so that he can see Taako, because if he isn't looking at something then he already knows he's going to end up trying to picture that. Which would be bad. For obvious reasons.

The look on his face is probably best described as 'mildly scandalised amusement'. ]

Sounds like you had a good time.

[ Taako, enjoying being the center of attention? Surely you jest. ]

['Mildly scandalised amusement' is about what he's going for and he's feeling bold enough to lean in for a quick kiss.]

I also might've pretended to be into fucking teddy bears to win a bet. It was an uh, interesting couple of days but you know, I totally won and got a vibrator out of the deal.

[He absolutely lied and cheated but this is a fun, harmless story that he figures Kravitz will get a kick out of it.]

[ There's a brief moment where Kravitz tilts his chin up slightly as they part again, almost chasing him - but it's a small gesture, covered quickly with a playful approximation of disappointment at the new 'revelation'. ]

You mean you aren't?

[ He breathes a huff of consternation out of his nose, and purses his lips that nonetheless are curled at the edges with the effort not to grin. ]

Well, obviously that changes everything...

[That little movement doesn't escape his notice, Taako just decides not to make a fuss about it.]

If that's the worst you've got for me I think I can handle it.

[It was pretty weird but hey, he can pretend to be open to if it'll make Kravitz happy.]

I mean, shit, Loki says he won't fuck me unless I turn into a horse, that's kinda up there

A... a horse.

[ Okay, that's some genuine bewilderment. And because he knows for a fact that that's something Taako can do... ]

... You're not considering it, are you?

[That response startles a little laugh out of Taako.]

I'll use alter self for kinky shit but polymorph is taking it too far.

[ And now there's a completely different reason why Kravitz is making a concerted effort not to picture things. Or to ask what exactly Taako could possibly want to use alter self for. ]

I suppose that's something.

[ He laughs again, still slightly incredulous. ]

I can't say I would have thought of either...

[It's not the original distraction tactic he'd been planning for, but if it works...]

What, you've never wanted to shake things up a little?

[There's all sorts of applications.]

[ The look on his face makes it more than clear that no, honestly, he hasn't ever really had that issue. Though far from balking at the idea (at least so long as polymorph really does stay firmly in the 'no thank you' category), he's mostly just... oblivious, maybe. ]

Another thing I'm likely to regret asking, but - how?

[He nearly makes a joke about not ruining the surprise before he remembers that - no, there's no ruining any surprises here. Luckily Taako is good at not letting his thoughts falter him too badly.

Instead, he grins.]

Dicks are all well and good, trust me, I'm a big fan but there are other configurations if you're into that kinda thing.

[Taako is A Dude but he also has a lazy sort of attachment to gender, enough that he's comfortable trying slightly different things on occasion.]

[ Oh. Well. Kravitz makes a little huh sound, the universal signal of 'I probably should have thought of that'. ]

For a man who was so enthusiastic about tentacles the first time we met, that's a surprisingly tame answer.

[ He's not complaining or anything, it's just difficult not to go to outlandish places sometimes when dealing with Taako. ]

Pretty sure you</> were the one that was enthusiastic about tentacles.

[It feels important to point that out, even if Taako was the one who brought up the term tentacle porn.]

Anyway, you don't lead with the hard kinks, that's like 101.

[Not that he has a lot of hard kinks, but that's beside the point.]

Of course.

[ He makes a vague alright, if that's how you want to remember it sort of gesture. ]

It's reassuring at least that that still counts as 'hard' for you.

[ This line in the sand is much closer to comfortable than polymorphing into a horse, for example. Kravitz is aware that he isn't the most well-travelled on this particular subject, but even so... ]

[In a playful sort of gesture, Taako places a hand on Kravtiz's cheek, as if to import the seriousness of what he's about to say.]

I have seen some fucked up shit, my fella, tentacles are way more tame than I would've thought.

[Kink expo.]

[ ... ]

... I don't want to know, do I.

[ And yet, curse the Grim Reaper for his morbid curiosity. ]

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noooo my html

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