riverview; ic contact & friendr

[spellslots]

  ✉

CODE   🔋 12:01 AM

TAAKO

USERNAME
@fromTV

OCCUPTION
Pâtissier

MESSAGE
"You've got Taako. I'm too busy to take your call right now, leave a message."

TEXT

CALL

VIDEO

	Friendr
«		»
	» Age: old enough to know better » Seeking: 💲💲💲 » Preferences: none of your business » Interests: cash money » Bio: greatest chef in Faerûn, greatest transmutation wizard, follow me on insta @fromTV for the real shit
	base code by photosynthesis
	Taako
	« ✘ ✔ »

Comments

[spellslots]

You better be prepared to follow through with this because I've never been more into an idea as I'm into this.

I'm even willing to ignore that cruel and unusual insult :(

[inlaid]

We'll teach the dog to hold a leash end and put Petunia in a chicken harness and I can say you came to help me walk my chicken.

I only insult my closest friends ♥

[She's surprised there haven't been any short jokes yet.]

[spellslots]

Fuck this is beautiful, yes. I will steal us a dog so we can do this shit.

Convenient excuse, pumpkin.

[inlaid]

Assuming you weren't planning on taking someone's dog from their front yard, why don't you just rescue one from a shelter?

It was an invitation to insult me back, sweetpea.

[spellslots]

Because then I'm responsible for a dog and I'm not about that life.

I'm being the better elf.

[inlaid]

What are you planning to do with the dog after you steal it then?

One could say you're the better elf by default of probably being the only elf here, you know.

[spellslots]

I'll give it back I guess, the joke's gonna get tired eventually.

Well I can hardly say I'm the better man, that's just plain not true for either of us.

[inlaid]

Alright, then it sounds like a plan. Have you ever gone dognapping before?

This is true. I suppose I'll have to resign myself to being the lesser person in this friendship. Try not to be too embarrassed by me, alright?

[spellslots]

[This is why they're friends; she's down with stupid ideas]

Nope, but it can't be all that hard.

It's a burden I carry every damn day, lucky for you I'm so gracious.

1/2 because I'm keeping my typos

[inlaid]

I recommend something better than store-bought dog treats to make friends.

When we're dong with this I'll nominate you for an award or a medal, I promise.

2/2

[inlaid]

*done

[spellslots]

This puppies are getting filet mignon, I'm no scrub

But tell me more about this dong :)

[inlaid]

this is why we're friends

and the dong is 13" long, glittery, and it glows pink in the dark. it also has a medal.

[spellslots]

Is the medal for successfully handling that dong because holy shit

[inlaid]

Yes which is why the dong still has the medal. No one's ever won it.

[spellslots]

😂😂😂

Hey if that's your thing I bet you could find someone into it! Want me to ask around for ya?

[inlaid]

Only if I get to hear your sales pitch.

[spellslots]

Did I not just give it! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[inlaid]

Oh, no, I want to hear you pitch that to someone else. I get to grab a drink and sit back and watch you talk it up.

[spellslots]

Pretty sure there's no pitch needed here, you've looked in a mirror, right?

[He might not be into girls but he's not blind.]

1/2

[inlaid]

I appreciate the vote of confidence and yes, I've looked in the mirror and am aware of what I look like.

But that doesn't mean that I don't want to watch you approach strangers, or better still, friends, and ask them if they want to take a sparkly dildo up the ass for the sake of entertainment.

2/2

[inlaid]

or I guess you could see if they wanted to suck on it too. some people are into that of course.

[spellslots]

You're gonna have to live in suspense!!

I'm not even sure I want to ask what people get out of giving a dildo a blowjob.

[inlaid]

rude!!!!!!!

depends on the person. could be as simple as an oral fixation~

[spellslots]

Sorry to disappoint, pumpkin.

You know what, I asked, you answered, I'm gonna live with that. It's the blowjob equivalent of lingerie, I guess.

[It's there for the #aesthetic]