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Oh, nice, you definitely have to use the accent.

[If he's being honest, the accent is kind of endearing in a silly sort of way, though he definitely doesn't want it coming up in the bedroom, jokes aside.]

You could sell yourself out, you know, tell me all your dirty secrets.

[That's cheating.]

Yes, I'm sure you'd like that, wouldn't you?

[ The accent dropped (for now), he quirks an eyebrow. ]

I'm a gambling man, love. I keep my cards close to my chest.

[ He doesn't, at all, but the thought is there at least. And he really does know that he should stop calling Taako love, but it's become such second nature over the past year that he doesn't even notice anymore. ]

[It's not that he hasn't noticed that particular term of endearment, he's just not sure he wants to correct it.]

If you wanna make it even I'll tell you a secret in return?

[As if Kravitz is stupid enough to fall for that.]

[ Under normal circumstances, he might have. Kravitz is trusting enough, at least of Taako, to believe that he would play fair. But, well - obviously things are a little different now. They don't know what sentence he might blink out of existence halfway through, for all they're making this effort to ignore that fact. ]

Or you could go first.

[ A small 'go on' gesture with his free hand, if only to illustrate yes, I see how stupid I would have to be to agree to this. ]

[This type of thing is his worst nightmare most of the time, but there are no consequences to anything he says now. This fragment of Kravtiz will disappear, taking all of Taako's secrets with it.

And despite starting this as a joke, he might as well get a few things off his chest. Taako drops his hands back to Kravtiz's, tangling their fingers loosely together, keeping his gaze there as he speaks.]

I don't think I've ever loved someone. Like - romantically.

[That's why this is scary.]

[ ... Well, he wasn't expecting him to actually do it.

Kravitz takes a moment to answer, curling his fingers lightly around Taako's. He doesn't quite have the same freedom of consequence, here. Perhaps it's never going to catch him, ephemeral as he is - but he believes wholeheartedly that the real him is going to find this place eventually. Against all logic or otherwise. He just knows it, in his heart, and that's what faith is. ]

Not yet.

[ Far from telling Taako his own business, it's simply a softly spoken addition. The rest - you're capable of it, I know you are - goes necessarily unsaid. Even if the melody has been changed enough to where they two are no longer a harmony that fits, there will be someone.

Faith, again. ]

[What he doesn't say is I could've loved Rin; it's the truth but it's not a truth that Kravtiz needs, regardless of whether it'll hurt him for a few hours or a few days. That's a secret for Lup or Lucretia or Cisco, someone who has no stakes in this.]

I'm kinda getting that impression. [It's what he said to Loki, that this feels like something big and important. Like the one, as inane as that is.] Has he told you? The... other Taako, I guess.

[He still can't quite think of it as himself.]

[ Kravitz looks away with a pang of guilt - it feels so unfair to do this. He doesn't mind, maybe, being honest about the fact that he loves Taako. That much hasn't changed, and he doesn't think it ever will. But what he doesn't want to do is dwell on the fact that the Taako he knows loves him in return. It feels like such a cruel thing to talk about. It's hardly any fault of this version of him that he hasn't had that time, that other events have shouldered their way in and made him different. Not lesser, just different. It's no failing on Taako's part, but it still somehow feels as if mentioning it is somehow intrinsically a criticism.

He doesn't say the words. Just nods. It feels easier. ]

We were going to go on vacation after the wedding. Not - not our wedding, I mean - we weren't...

[ He clears his throat awkwardly. Definitely not a thing he has any physical need to do. Another of those little affectations of mortality. ]

I actually managed to talk you into coming to see the rest of the astral plane with me. You wanted beachy, of course, but I'm not exactly the most fond of... large bodies of water, so...

[Taako gives Kravtiz's hand a reassuring little squeeze, a silent it's alright, trying to let him know there's no reason to feel guilty about any of this. It's difficult, there's no denying that, but it's so much easier to make some kind of peace with this when there's no permanence.

Dying stopped being so terrifying once they knew it wouldn't stick.]

The astral plane? For real?

[That's fucking wild. It doesn't exactly sound like a fun vacation spot, especially not when Taako has put a handful of people there.]

We couldn't compromise on like, a spa vacation? Or-- [Wait. Taako pauses and squints at Kravtiz, as if he's trying to figure out a puzzle.] Is it an excuse to introduce him to the Raven Queen?

[ ... There is the sudden, crushing realization that that particular cunning plan wasn't even close to as subtle as he thought it was at the time. He splutters, and who knew a man with no real blood circulation could blush like that? ]

Well - I - I thought maybe while we were there, yes, if there's time then maybe we could visit -

[ As if there was ever any danger of them not having extra time on the astral plane. There is beauty to it if you know where to look, and he does, and he's wanted to show it to Taako for a while - but if you'll excuse the pun, it isn't exactly the most lively of destinations. ]

[It's so Kravitz that Taako can't help but smile, soft and fond. He should probably be a little freaked out by what is likely the equivalent of meeting the parents, but there's enough of a separation that he can push that aside.]

I hope she's got a sense of humor cause you know cha boy is gonna talk shit.

[He hasn't got a deferential bone in his body, not even when it comes to gods.]

Even Istus threatened me and she seems pretty chill.

Well, she...

[ What can he say about the Raven Queen? Kravitz is while a separate being still in a sense part of her, so if anyone knows her then it's probably him - but she isn't exactly easy to describe. She is at once hard and yielding, sharp and gentle, warm and freezing cold. Her favor is both the easiest and the most difficult to earn... Perhaps it's small wonder, then, that Kravitz tripped over his feet to fall headfirst for the one he did. ]

... I think she'll like you.

[ He smiles. ]

She and Istus are fairly close, you know. Team Pro Natural Order.

I guessed at that when you didn't get sent to kick our asses after Refuge.

[Istus was so heavily involved in that situation it made sense she might have spoken a word or two in their favor, to spare them from any unnecessary drama with the Raven Queen.]

Something came through the portal, from Istus. I dunno if she sent it or the portal was feeling it, but... it kinda seemed like it was asking me to trust her.

[He'd been worrying a lot about the situation with Kravitz, how it would resolve himself when he returned and then he'd gotten a strand of shimmering thread. It had helped, in its own way.]

She must have something in mind, then.

[ It doesn't exactly work that way, but it at least seems comforting that she hasn't lost her grip on the threads of fate. Whatever that would mean for them all.

A beat, and then he sighs, lifting his free hand to watch himself idly flex his fingers again. It still doesn't feel different. But he's so on edge now, and that just seems like it's going to be the way of it until this is over. ]

... I almost wish it would just happen.

[ He would stay, if the decision was his, but it isn't. ]

[There's likely a way to make it happen. Taako could call Beverly or Cisco, either of them could figure out a way to break a hologram but it would feel too much like killing Kravitz that he can't bring himself to truly entertain the idea.]

Tell me what to do, Krav, anything that'll help.

[He still can't imagine how this feels but he wants to make it as easy as he possibly can.]

[ Would he take the option if he knew it was there? Probably not. This is the strangest feeling he's ever experienced, and it's all he can do not to think too closely into it, because there's a depth of genuine existential fear there that it just wouldn't be productive to fall into.

He shrugs one shoulder, still looking at his hand for a moment before his eyes find Taako again, though they don't stay there long. Finally though, he allows himself to lean in just a little closer. Selfish. He's going to be gone, and he's going to have left this moment behind for Taako to carry with the others. More weight to join the extra almost visible on his shoulders. But right now, Kravitz isn't gone yet, he's still here, and he's... scared. ]

Just being here helps.

[ A sad smile, down at where their hands are joined, still. ]

If I was going to choose who spend this time with, I - well - I suppose you know that.

[ He exhales a breath of humorless laughter, and there's a certain vaguely strangled quality to his voice when he speaks again. For a man just this side of disconcertingly tall, he certainly looks smaller in this moment than he possibly ever has. ]

... I wanted to stay with you, you know. Here, like I said I would. I was ready to just...

Hey, hey, stop. [His voice is gentle but it doesn't leave room for argument, this isn't something that's open for discussion. He wants Kravitz to stop beating himself up.] You don't gotta feel guilty or explain yourself or like - reassure me. I know, okay? All of it, but it this is outta your hands, don't feel shitty about that.

[It's easier said than done and he knows that, too, but he can't not say it. He hates seeing Kravitz look this sad.

Maybe that's why he releases Kravtiz's hands, though it's just so Taako can move to properly lay down on the bed, patting the space beside him.]

C'mere, I've got you.

[ Kravitz hesitates - but if he's honest, there's never really any question in his mind of whether or not he's going to do as he's bid. It's easy to listen to Taako. Too easy. It always has been. So he moves to lay down next to him, carefully leaving more space between them than he would have liked to - imminent critical existence failure hardly gives a man the right to ignore boundaries, after all, and that's not his place with this Taako.

He wonders for a moment if it ever could have been. ]

I almost feel like I should start trying to be horrible to you, so you might be happier to be rid of me.

[ He tries for a smile, and it only mostly looks completely agonised. And who knows - maybe Taako will be glad to see the last of him regardless. He can see how that might be, in a perverse sort of way. And he could hardly fault him for it. ]

[Well if Kravitz won't close the distance between them, Taako will, since the whole point of this was comforting him. Taako scoots a little closer to put an arm over Kravitz's shoulders, palm resting between his shoulder blades. From there it's easy to just rest his forehead against Kravitz's, something he does with Lup almost every time one of them is hurting and he always finds it comforting. Maybe Kravitz will too.

His voice is soft when he speaks.]

I get that you're going for a joke there but seriously, my man, quit thinking about me for like two seconds.

[Most of the time Taako is Taako's primary concern but he's trying not to be selfish right now.]

[ Kravitz is stiff for a moment, unsure - but finally he sighs and relaxes into this, trying to just let himself have what he's being given. One hand rests lightly on Taako's waist and he lets his eyes fall closed for a moment. It's... a lot more comforting than he thought it would be. ]

I'm not sure what else to think about.

[ It feels very much as if the world has abruptly shrunk to the size of this room, and the idea of anything outside of it is so far away and unreal that it hardly matters. ]

[This would almost be nice, if the circumstances weren't quite so awful.]

Tell me about the wedding?

[It's something recent enough that it should be easy enough to recount, something for Kravtiz to think about that isn't... all of this, everything that's happening.]

[ The wedding. He thinks back, and it almost feels like another life entirely, and maybe that's what it is to feel false. Relating what should have been a shared memory only days old that for which, in various senses, neither of them were actually there.

No, come on. Kravitz sets his jaw for a moment and pushes past that. ]

It was - it was lovely, really. Merle officiated, of course, and in fairness to him he misspoke a lot less than I thought he might.

[ It could have been disastrous - but no one died, which is always a high point of a wedding. ]

Carey and Killian sort of - raced each other to the lectern? And later I asked you if that was something people always did, because I hadn't been anywhere near a wedding in so long...

[ He laughs softly. Not the most intelligent question he's ever asked, in retrospect. ]

It was nice. It felt like something everybody deserved, after it all.

Merle actually says some pretty profound shit when he wants to. Still can't believe he's got fucking kids.

[None of this is particularly important, the details of the wedding or how Taako feels about the people back in Fearun; he's talking for the sake of it, to give them something to focus on other than the inevitable end of this moment.]

Sounds like it was neat, something to look forward to. Not that I'm gonna remember looking forward to it, pretty sure we forget this place when we leave.

[In a way, this version of him will disappear too.]

[ Oh. That... that seems a shame. Kravitz hums thoughtfully for a moment. ]

Will you tell me about what it's like here, then?

[ He's already heard enough to know that it can be cruel - this is cruel, all by itself - but... ]

There must be good times..?

The parties are pretty good, and the festivals, it's just like all this inbetween stuff that's bullshit.

[They don't seem to happen with any regularity and everyone is effected differently, it just happens to have been a rough couple of months for Taako.]

There was a kink expo, that was kinda fun. I got all dressed up in ropes cause my girl Bryn was doing demos for her culture. We went to a lot of shows together, I think she's seen me naked more times than most of the dudes I've fooled around with ever did.

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